A Journey to Our BABY!

Fischer's birth story - Part III

2011-07-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

“I need to get an epidural…”

No one was more shocked than me to hear those words leave my mouth. My nurse’s jaw dropped to the floor when I said that, but it was true I needed to sleep. Jimmy and I discussed it and did not want to take a narcotic to get me to sleep. I couldn’t be certain that my body would respond well to the narcotics. I had heard horror stories from other moms.

Once the anesthesiologist got there I began to get a little nervous in my decision but knew it was the best decision for me and for Fischer. We both needed to rest. It turns out that getting the epidural was a very smart move when it came time to push. I was able to get a few hours of sleep and woke up refreshed and excited to continue this part of our journey. I think Jimmy was more relieved to sleep than me because five minutes after lying down he was sawing logs. The epidural made me so itchy that was the one thing I did not like about it. The adrenaline was still pumping and making me shake uncontrollably.

My midwife came back in at 6:00 am, since I was now awake, to check me before her shift ended. I should mention that for the last 12 hours I was the only woman in labor on the floor so every one was very attentive and supportive of anything I needed and they were all anticipating Fischer’s arrival and learning his name. I had only progressed to 6 cm, so much for relaxing to help speed things up. So I thought…

My midwife was so sad that her shift was ending and she wouldn’t be present for his birth. She promised to call in and check on me through out the day and to come meet Fischer the next day when she was back on. One of the other midwives in our practice came in at 8:15 am to see how I was doing and to see if I was any more dilated. We were lucky to get both midwives we fell in love with through out our prenatal check ups. We were all astonished to find out I was 9 cm! I went from 6 to 9 in two hours! The epidural was working after all. She said she was going to let me labor him down for a little while and to call her when I felt a ton of pressure in my bottom, that would mean I was ready to push. I was very pleased with the fact that even though I had the epidural I was still able to move my legs and turn from side to side and feel the pressure of each wave.

I texted my family that they could all come up and give us one last kiss before I start pushing. I was told after the fact that my Mom had left to go let her dog out when they called and told her I was at 9 cm; Fischer was at +1 station and would be pushing soon. Poor puppy, she didn’t know it would be another 4 hours before Fischer was actually born.

At 10:30 am I wake up Jimmy, yes he is still sound asleep, to go get the midwife I am ready to push. She comes in to check and me and sure enough his head is right there, maybe an inch from crowning. They start setting everything up and I look at Jimmy, he is looking out the window and won’t look at me.

I ask him “Are you nervous? Why won’t you look at me?”

He turns around and there are tears in his eyes and he says, “I am more excited than anything, this is it, what we have been waiting for”.

I lost it right there and started crying too. I can’t believe I was about to meet my son, our son for the first time. It was not just a dream after all.

She puts her fingers in me and asks me to push so she can see how well I can push. She is amazed at how well I can push on my first attempt. She assures me to do everything I just did every time I feel a wave coming on. Fischer is right there and should be coming out really soon. I turn on my side to do side lying pushing. This was the best position for me and where I was able to get the most power out of each push. Jimmy held my leg up for me every time. After about two hours and my midwife telling me again over and over “He is right there, it won’t be long now” I was starting to doubt if I could keep doing this. Something is wrong, he is taking way too long. I don’t know at what point Jimmy decided to start looking down there but I am glad he did cause he was so encouraging through each wave. My midwife could see I was getting discouraged and decided to wheel in the mirror to give me some motivation. I can’t even describe the feeling of watching my son’s head crown through each push and then go right back in again. It made what I was doing so real. It was time to try changing positions so we brought up the squat bar for a little while. No change, he would crown and go right back in. I think at the 3 hour mark, 1:30 pm, of pushing the Dr. came in prepared to do a vacuum extraction. She wouldn’t do it though since he wasn’t in distress. His heart rate was still cool as a cucumber. The nurses and Dr. were amazed that he was so calm. The Dr. stayed for a while because she had never witnessed and side lying birth before and wanted to be there for the delivery. This reassured me of our decision to go with a midwife since they know how to birth babies. My midwife was great at stretching my perineum through each push and to put hot/wet compresses on me when I was resting.

The hypnosis worked between waves because I was able to tune everyone out and I even dozed off a few times and woke up to push again. Pushing was an amazing experience. I don’t know what came over me but through each push I sounded like an Amazon woman grunting and making some pretty primal sounds. It felt so good to make those sounds through each push and gave me so much more power behind them. I literally breathed the baby down just like HypnoBabies teaches you by exhaling through each push and not holding my breath. I could hear the nurses and midwife whispering that they had never seen someone push like that and couldn’t believe how well it was working. Even though I had been pushing for almost 4 hours now I was still able to give 4 or 5 good pushes with each wave.

It is now 2:30 pm and the Dr. decides to use the vacuum to get him out. Even though he isn’t in distress I am starting to lose my cool a bit. She tries 3 times but his head is just not going to come. Jimmy said that was the hardest thing to watch and will never get that image out of his mind. I decide this is it I am giving it my all and I am not going to stop pushing until he is out. Finally his head comes through. One more push and the rest of him is here! He was born at 2:51 pm, June 11, 2011.

When they placed him on my chest I couldn’t help but cry happy tears. It was the single most amazing moment of my life so far. He let out a little “eh” and that was it. His eyes locked on mine and we just cuddled for hours. Jimmy did end up cutting the umbilical cord and was shooting video and taking still photos at the same time. He was one proud Papa. My midwife explained that his head was turned to the side, looking over his right shoulder and that was why it was so hard to push his head through. There was no way to tell until he was delivered. This is why I was thankful for the epidural. There is no physical way I could have done that without one. I had a very small tear that required two little stitches. Everyone, including myself, was astonished that I didn’t completely tear or need an episiotomy.

His birth was long and a lot of hard work but completely worth it. I strongly feel I could not have made it that long without the use of my hypnosis cues and Jimmy as my coach. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I got Fischer at the end. Being a mom is so much more than I ever imagined. He is the best baby and so loving.

Fischer's Birth Story - Part II

2011-06-26T20:20:00.000-04:00

“You are doing great! If this is what we need to meet Fischer then you can do it. I know this wasn’t in the plans but you can get through this.”

He really stepped up and was being am amazing coach. It is now 4:45 pm and my midwife decides to check me before starting the Pit. I am still 2 cm dilated. Here comes the IV. . .

Once the Pit was started we could no longer be intermittently monitored so there I was on a leash, so to speak. Before the IV I only had to be monitored for 15 minutes every hour and was free to roam where I pleased. The fetal monitor would not stay put because my belly was so round that it would roll off every time I moved. The Pit started to kick in about a half hour after starting the IV and the waves were feeling more productive already. Jimmy was great at getting me on the birthing ball and putting counter pressure on my back. The thing that felt the best was when the nurses would microwave my rice sock and place that on my lower back. During this phase of labor my favorite position was to stand up and lean into Jimmy and sway my hips back and forth. It was amazing that when I would feel a wave coming on my light switch would instantly be turned to the off position and I moved my anesthesia to where I needed it. My Hypnobabies training was working without even thinking about it.

I must say it was quite a chore to go to the bathroom since Jimmy would have to disconnect the monitors, put the IV on battery power and gather up all the cords to roll me into the bathroom. He had to stand there in the doorway helpless when a wave would hit while I was trying to pee.

At 8:30 pm my midwife came back in to check me, since the Pit had several hours to start working. I had progressed to 3 cm and 70% effaced now. She also realized that it was my hind waters that were leaking and that my bag hadn’t completely broken. This could be the reason things are going so slowly. We kept up the birthing ball positions, nipple stimulation and reflexology to keep things going. Jimmy and I were both losing hope that he was going to be born on June 10, 2011 and it was looking more and more like we would be at this the next day too. Our poor parents and siblings down in the waiting room were refusing to go home and kept bugging Jimmy for information that we just didn’t have. All we could say was “things are progressing”. I know that wasn’t what they wanted to hear but it was all we had.

Hours go by with waves coming every 2-3 minutes lasting sometimes a minute. I keep saying to myself through each wave “open, open, open”. It is now 11:00 pm, the 18-hour mark. My midwife informs me that we now have to start antibiotics since it has been 18 hours from when my water broke. I have now made it to 4 cm and 80% effaced. Jimmy and I discussed it and decided she should break my fore-waters to get him engaged. That made adrenaline start pumping through my body causing me to shake uncontrollably. That was the weirdest feeling. It was making standing through the pressure waves much more difficult. My body was starting to get really exhausted from being up for almost 24 hours.

It is now 3:00 am, Saturday morning and my midwife comes to check me again. Yes, I made it to 5 cm already and 100% effaced. I haven’t even made it to active phase yet. At this point I am seriously thinking that I will be pregnant forever and he just doesn’t want to come out. Fischer’s heart rate is still cool and collected; he is handling the waves and the Pit very well. I am incredibly exhausted now and my body just won’t stand up anymore but it is not comfortable to sit down or lay in bed. I am running on no sleep for 22 hours and Jimmy can tell that I am getting worn down. I am handling the pressure waves just fine, the hypnosis does work.

I could not believe the words that are about to come out of my mouth. . .

“I need to an epidural. . .”

To be continued

Fischer's birth story - Part 1

2011-06-20T12:54:00.002-04:00

Fischer’s birth story actually starts back a few months when I decided I wanted to use Hypnosis for his birth. After researching Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies (HB), we went with HB. HB teaches you that your due date is just a “guess date”, babies are born on their birthdays, and there is a hypnosis track called “Visualize Your Birth”. From all the birth stories I read the women said they would visualize the day they wanted labor to begin and their labor started at that time. I remember being 6 months pregnant telling my Mom that when I visualize his birth I see June 11, 2011 as his birthday. Fischer’s birth story starts here . . .

It was just like any other night out with Jimmy on Thursday, June 9; dinner, errands and cuddle time on the sofa. Before we went to bed he said to me “I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow so let’s get this kid out”. He got his wish cause at 4:30 am Friday morning I went to the bathroom for my 100,057,403 potty break that night when as soon as I sat on the toilet I felt a gush! I thought, “wow I really had to pee” but then I began peeing for real. So what was that fluid a second ago? Amniotic fluid? I started thinking that my water had just broken; I cleaned myself up and put a pad in. I knew it had broken when I started walking around and it just kept coming out. Looking back now I should have known at this moment that the birth I had visualized just went out the window except one thing . . . his birthday.

I waited around until 5:00 am to wake Jimmy up. I think I was in a little bit of denial for that half hour. Poor guy, he just came to bed at 1:30, just like every other night. I go into wake him up by saying:

“Honey, I think my water just broke”

He replies “Okaaayyy” and rolls over to go back to sleep.

“No, my water broke. We are having a baby”

“Okay, what do you want me to do?”

About 30 seconds later it hit him. We both knew that since my pressure waves hadn’t started that this was going to be a long day. We took our time heading to the hospital. I took a shower and got dressed and ate breakfast since I knew I wouldn’t be getting much once I got the hospital. We made a video of the house so we have evidence of what it looked like before kids and how quiet it is at 5:00 am.

At 6:30 am we head out the door to Labor and Delivery. It’s a good think I wasn’t in active labor because he missed the exit to the hospital and had to take a different route that was under construction. It would not have been an easy ride for sure. We are admitted at 7:10 am and they get me situated in the bed so they can monitor him and test my pad for amniotic fluid. The nurse barely touched it with the test strip and it turned bright blue. We are having our baby, finally! The nurses call my midwife to let her know that I am admitted and we won’t be making our 10:40 appointment. My midwife comes into see me and check my progress; I am only 2 cm, 60% effaced. Time to start walking the halls, sucking on my Dum Dums and nipple stimulation. We need to get this thing moving. There is a pressure point on the roof of your mouth that can help jump start labor, hence the Dum Dums.

At this point I am getting waves but they do not feel effective. They are coming every 3-5 minutes but feel more like Braxton Hicks and not true waves. I go on like this until we reach the 12-hour mark. My midwife suggests Pit to jump start things. This is exactly the thing I was trying to avoid. In my head I know Pit means a snowball of interventions can start. She reassures me that she won’t let that happen. She knows I want a natural birth but this is what happens when your water breaks first. Fischer has been doing beautifully; his heart rate is calm and perfect. I couldn’t help but start crying because just like with trying to conceive things are not going according to our plan. Jimmy tells me:

“You are doing great! If this is what we need to meet Fischer then you can do it. I know this wasn’t in the plans but you can get through this.”

He really stepped up and was being am amazing coach. It is now 4:45 pm and my midwife decides to check me before starting the Pit. I am still 2 cm dilated. Here comes the IV. . .

To be continued...

40 weeks!

2011-06-15T08:38:00.001-04:00

Since the little one is napping and I am eating breakfast, I thought it only fitting I post on Fischer's due date. Today I would have been 40 weeks pregnant. I am in the middle of writing my birth story and will post it soon. I will tell you that it was long since my water broke before labor started and it just dragged on and on. I spent 4 hours pushing which should have only taken a few pushes according to my midwife but we did not know his head was coming out sideways. Ouch, but I did it not natural but vaginal and that is all I could ask for. It was his birth and it was still beautiful. I don't regret one second of how is birthday happened.

We are all doing really well. My recovery is happening very quickly, yesterday all the swelling was gone and I felt a ton better. Fischer took to breast-feeding wonderfully after the first day. My milk came in on Day 2 and he is eating it up. He sleeps about 2 to 3 1/2 hours at night with little fuss to go back down. As soon as his Daddy swaddles him he is back out. We are loving every single nano second of being parents. Our journey to our baby has ended and now we begin a journey with our baby.

Best Moment of the week: Duh, meeting my son for the first time, okay and the final push. The moment she laid him on my chest I was in love. He didn't even cry just gave a little whimper.

Epiphany of the week: I always knew this to be true, but my husband is the best. He will be the best father to Fischer. He loves swaddling him himself and laying with him chest to chest.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My midwife checks me because I told her I felt I was ready to start pushing. Sure enough she checks and his head is right there, about an inch for crowning. She keeps telling me throughout pushing that he is almost here just a few more pushes and finally I said, "you said that 3 hours ago!". They all just laughed and kept on encouraging me.

Obsessions: Kissing ever inch of his perfect little body.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Spending our days together as one little happy family.

What I miss the most: Nothing.

Symptoms: The swelling from my feet and legs has almost completely gone away. Of course my nipples are tender but not too bad, at least they aren't cracked and bleeding.

Milestones: I think this one is obvious - becoming a MOMMY!

Early labor phase - sucking on a Dum Dum pacing the halls

Where's the milk, Mom?

I think this is the most beautiful face I have ever seen!

Our view from the recovery room, sometimes I really love Florida

Our son has arrived

2011-06-13T07:19:00.001-04:00

Fischer James Pollard arrived Saturday, June 11, 2011 after 34 hours of labor!

8 lbs 6 oz. And 21 inches long

It was long, hard, exhausting and hands down the most amazing thing I have experienced.

We are being discharged today and will post a ton of pics as soon as I can. Mom and baby are doing amazing.

39 Weeks!

2011-06-08T10:49:00.000-04:00

Two big milestones happening this week: I am a week from my due date and today is my last day of work!!! I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have 3 months off, not having to wake up early to leave the house (I know I will be waking up for other reasons but those reasons make me smile), packing my lunch the night before and wondering if I have any clean work pants.

My doctors appointment this week isn't until Friday, two whole days. ugh!I am still thinking my guess date is Saturday, June 11th. I have felt this date would be his birthday for months for some reason. I am interested to see if mother's intuition kicked in early.Truthfully he can come any day now, the anticipation is killing me. I feel like I did 10 months ago thinking I will never be pregnant, I will never be a mother. I am starting to think I am going to be pregnant forever and there is no baby at the end. It was all a big joke. Rationally I know that is not true, he can't stay in there forever, but since when has hormones let us be rational.

He is still the size of a watermelon this week. I feel like I am carrying around a watermelon too!

Best Moment of the week: I'm gonna say that it will be tomorrow when I know I am officially on maternity leave!

Epiphany of the week: Don't sit on a leather sofa with shorts on because you will stick to the leather and then not be able to get off the sofa. I couldn't get enough momentum to thrust forward to un-stick myself, too front heavy!

Entertaining question/comment of the week: This one has to come from The Captain. In Hypnobabies you change terminology to have a positive mindset, contractions are called pressure waves. I had told him this but I didn't think he was really listening or reading his birth partner study guide, boy did he prove me wrong. Last night he had to run to Wal-mart and said "call me if you start having pressure waves while I am out". I just stood there shocked that he obviously has been doing his studying.

Obsessions: When am I gonna get to meet this little guy?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Sleeping in until the baby arrives.

What I miss the most: Nothing.

Symptoms: I can't wait for the swelling to go away. I have about reached my patience level with these cankles!The swelling has moved up my legs to my knees.

Milestones: Baby's now the size of a watermelon!
Baby's brain is still developing rapidly, and his skin has taken on a paler shade thanks to a thicker layer of fat around the blood vessels. (Don't worry; he'll change color again soon after birth.) He's now able to flex his limbs, and his nails might extend past his fingertips. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

slowly but surely...

2011-06-03T13:12:00.000-04:00

Slowly but surely I am going to have this baby. Just got back from our 38 week appointment and I am still 1 cm dilated but am now 50% effaced and my cervix is soft. The baby has made his way down to -2 station. The midwife said that last week they had an arrow up for the baby's station which meant that his head was still high. No wonder I have felt more pressure on everything this last week, it is only going to get worse.

Everyone keeps telling me that when they do a cervical check that it is painful. I enter into hypnosis right before each check and I gotta say I don't feel anything while she is checking me. My midwife says "I know lots of pressure right now" and I just smile cause I don't feel it. Maybe it is the hypnosis, I think it actually does work.

I am okay with making it to my due date but I don't want to go much further past it cause my sister comes into town on the 25th and I would like to already be home when she gets here. I know, I know it is not up to me but I hope your listening Baby P...

38 weeks!

2011-06-01T13:26:00.006-04:00

OMG I'm having a baby!

A baby.

A tiny human being.

That I am responsible for.

For-evah!

In two weeks (plus or minus) he will be here and I can't freakin' believe it. It's really starting to hit me that I am having a baby. I know that I am pregnant and at the end it produces a baby but I think it finally hit me that there is actually going to be a living, breathing, totally dependent baby. We have been in this countdown/waiting state for over 3 years now of "when we have a baby". Being pregnant has just been more dreaming, imagining, and planning on a baby. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else but to me, I guess, I never really sat and thought about the fact that he is no longer a dream or a figment of my imagination. He's real and he is almost here. We are getting so stinkin' excited to meet him, I don't care how hard labor is going to be or how long. I know that with each pressure wave I am one step closer to meeting my son and that puts a smile on my face. Finally!

Last night The Captain was tyring so hard to convince him how nice it is outside of the womb and that we want to play with him and meet him. I think he had his hands over his ears cause it sure didn't make a difference. The Captain has really started to get more comfortable taking to my belly and playing with him, it's too bad it's near the end.

I'm having a baby. Oh my Gawd!

Best Moment of the week: Floating in the pool all day on Monday, it felt so good.

Epiphany of the week: I need to take a tour of the hospital or at least find out what door we have to go in.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My cousin's prediction date is June 4 so she calls and leaves me a voice mail. "Tonight you will go for a long walk and have sex. Tomorrow morning you are to have sex. Tomorrow night repeat long walk and again have sex. You will repeat this until June 3rd cause you have 3 days to get that baby out of you so my prediction can be right!"

Obsessions: What does he look like? When am I going to get to meet him?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Friday's appointment.

What I miss the most: Nothing really.

Symptoms: I can't wait for the swelling to go away. I have about reached my patience level with these cankles!

Milestones: Baby's now the size of a watermelon!
The last bits of vernix caseosa (the white goo keeping baby's skin moist) and lanugo (downy hair) are slowly shedding into your amniotic fluid. Baby's head is about the same circumference as his abdomen, and his head could be covered in an inch or so of hair. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

How I plan on using Hypnobabies for childbirth

2011-05-26T10:09:00.000-04:00

I first want to apologize, I had every intention of doing a recap after every week of my Hypnobabies course. Things got so busy it just never happened. I have loved listening to the CD's every night and practicing the techniques I will be using on my birthing day. I feel so calm and confident about giving birth. The main thing Hypnobabies does is train your subconscious to think in a different, positive way. After listening to the Fear Clearing Session the other night I am even more ready.

Here are some possibilities on how I plan on using Hypnobabies during my birthing time. I also put together a little cheat sheet The Captain can refer to throughout our birthing time.

Once I start feeling regular pressure waves (contractions) I will know that my birthing time has begun or could be coming really soon. I will get something to eat and drink if it is daytime or I will go to sleep if it is night time. If things fizzle out I may do some chores to keep me busy, like bake brownies for the nurses at the hospital. Try and win them over with sweets.

While I am doing things or resting in bed I will put on the "Birthing Day Affirmations" track aloud or with headphones, if The Captain is sleeping. This track is meant to help me stay positive and get in the right mindset. I am not supposed to listen to this track until after 38 weeks, it has very suggestive language and can send me into labor early.

If things are indeed progressing then I can put on the "Fear Clearing" track I mentioned above. It is meant to help address and release any fears or concerns that are still lingering about. HypnoBabies suggests listening to this track early to quell any anxiety or issues that might slow your labor. We are planning on laboring as long as we can at home before heading to the hospital, since that is where I will be the most comfortable. I do plan on laboring in the tub, but not delivering, at the hospital but you can't get into the tub until you are 5 cm.

One of my favorite tracks is titled "Relax Me" and that is exactly what it does. I may listen to this while The Captain is packing the car. I can cycle through any of the CD tracks that I feel comfortable with as my pressure waves get stronger and closer together. Once I need to begin to consciously relax through them I will then turn to using my finger-drop technique using cue words like "release" and "peace" and moving my mental light switch to the off position.

Hypnobabies teaches you to imagine a light switch on the back of your neck. When it is in the off position it creates a conditioned response that allows me to instantly enter a deep state of hypnosis and relaxation. Sensations of pain are reduced or eliminated. If I want to open my eyes and move around I turn the switch to the center position and I can now move freely.

I will visualize and tell my body to open, open, open and that I welcome each pressure wave, which brings me closer to meeting my son.

At this point I may not know what I need, whether it be music, quiet or a specific track. I may want The Captain to read me a script. It's hard to say, we will have to just roll with it.

I have a "Pushing Baby Out" track that should be listened to aloud once it comes time to push. I will preview it so I know what is on it before the big day.

Just like athletes mentally prepare for any big game or competition, childbirth is no different. It is as much mental work as it is physical. I'm going to pull a cheesy quote out for you "What the mind can believe, the body can achieve"

I can't wait to meet my son! Only a few weeks left to go!

37 Weeks!

2011-05-25T13:11:00.000-04:00

The cramping I have been feeling was me dilating to 1 cm! My cervix is still long so no effacement yet but I would say that is pretty good progress for 5 days. When we went on Friday last week my cervix was still posterior, closed, hard, and long. Things are happening. I know I can stay this way for awhile but I am 1 cm closer to meeting our little boy.

Because of the Captain's work schedule our next appointment isn't until next Friday, I wonder if we will make it to that appointment. We have several votes for June 2nd. Care to take any guesses?

Best Moment of the week: Besides today's appointment, it was baby sitting on Sunday and watching The Captain play with his God-Daughter for hours.

Epiphany of the week: I need to take a tour of the hospital or at least find out what door we have to go to.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I am in the kitchen making lunch for me and Zoey and I hear The Captain talking to her in the living room, he's saying "Mommy's getting your lunch ready". I peak my head around the corner and say "um hun, I'm not her Mommy". He says "oh duh, I guess I can't wait to say that". Ah melt!

Obsessions: Am I dilating today? Have I effaced any? Maybe I should try evening primrose oil or how about bouncing on the birthing ball?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Friday's appointment.

What I miss the most: Not really anything except that my belly didn't use to rest on my legs when I sit down. :)

Symptoms: Edema, back ache, sore joints, urinating more frequently and the skin under my breasts feels like it has been rubbed raw. I think it is from him keeping a foot there.

Milestones: Baby's now the size of a watermelon!
Your full-term (yay!) baby is gaining about 1/2 ounce a day and getting his first sticky poop (called meconium) ready. He's also brushing up on skills for the outside world: blinking, sucking, inhaling, exhaling, and gripping (it's getting strong!) *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Pre-labor or Early Labor?

2011-05-24T10:06:00.000-04:00

Yesterday and now this morning I keep having stomach or menstrual type cramps on and off. I sometimes feel like I need to go to the bathroom but then I don't need to go. I am wondering if this is because he is engaging or are these pre-labor pains? I have been having BH contractions for weeks but these feel different. I go back to get checked tomorrow for my 37 week appointment. I can't help but smile through them though if this means things are getting started. I know I can be this way for weeks or days but that just means I am this much closer to meeting our son!

Hip Hip Hooray!!

Weekend update

2011-05-23T10:25:00.002-04:00

Saturday - I didn't do a dang thing all day. Well, that's not true, I ran to Joann's for some fabric. It was so nice just being lazy and relaxing all day. I tried really hard not to feel guilty about getting some much needed rest. I could sit for hours with my feet propped up, just feeling the baby move and talking to him. I am still amazed by him everyday! I can't wait until he gets here to kiss those tiny feet and hands. I want to pat the little butt that has been sticking out for the last month or so.

Sunday - The Captain was off yesterday and we had such a good day just spending time together. We rarely get time off at the same time. We got to babysit our 9 month old God-Daughter, Zoey, yesterday from about noon till 5:00. Originally The Captain said he was going to go work on his boat during that time but when he woke up, he just sat on the floor with her and played for hours. He even put together Baby P's jogging stroller so that I could take her for a walk. (I don't think anything of Baby P's is not going to be broken in by Zoey. I sure hope they share well when he is here.) He even fed her her lunch. He is going to be such a wonderful father. I loved watching him interact with her and try to get her to crawl.

Once her parents picked her up we were able to make a trip to Target and get the remaining items we need for our hospital bags. Now all I have to do is finishing putting the stuff in the bags and we are ready to go to the hospital anytime.

I don't know if it was because I rested all day Saturday or maybe I am starting to nest a bit but I had so much energy yesterday. I didn't even feel like I needed a nap. Gasp! Maybe things are ready to get started down there? I know he has dropped significantly over the last few days cause I can bend over a heck of a lot easier.

36 weeks!

2011-05-18T14:03:00.000-04:00

What?! Only 28 more days! Where has the time gone? I think these next few weeks are going to go by so slow. My 36 week check up is on Friday and I can't wait to see if she is planning on checking me. I feel like he has dropped some because I have way more pressure on my bladder and pelvis than before. I have been having what I thought were Braxton Hicks but according to the doula, that taught our birth classes, they were regular pressure waves (contractions). She said if your entire belly gets hard it is a regular one, if only parts are hard then it is BH. Interesting.

Our bags are almost completely packed. I have a few more things to pick up from the store. She gave me some great advice on snacks to bring that I didn't think of. 1) Don't bring anything you want to see a second time. 2) Don't pack anything for hubby that you do not want to smell (I am regretting buying him energy drinks because they make me nauseous smelling them). 3) honey sticks or packets are great for keeping your energy up. 4) Dum Dum lollipops are good because the sugar will give you energy and there is a pressure point on the roof of your mouth that helps induce labor.

Best Moment of the week: My mom hired a cleaning lady to come every two weeks until July. I can't wait to get home tonight to a scrubbed clean house. Is it wrong to pay someone else to nest for you?

Epiphany of the week: Always, always go pee before you leave the house because you will absolutely, without fail have to go half way to your destination.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: It's 2:00 am and I get up to go to the bathroom for the hundredth time and I can barely walk. My hips are locked up and it is painful. The Captain asks if everything is alright and I tell him "my hips are hurting". I make it to the bathroom and he rushes in and says, "Are you dilating?" I just had to chuckle and tell him to go back to bed.

Obsessions: Washing and putting away all the cloth diapers. My good friend, Kerry, Hi Kerry!, gave me all of her cloth diapers from her first baby! My stash is complete now I have 35 diapers as of now.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Friday's appointment. What am I not looking forward to? The scale!

What I miss the most: Sleeping on my back or tummy, just another position besides side lying.

Symptoms: Edema, back ache, sore joints, urinating more frequently and the skin under my breasts feels like it has been rubbed raw. I think it is from him keeping a foot there.

Milestones: Baby's skin is getting smooth and soft, his gums are rigid, his liver and kidneys are in working order, and his circulation and immune system are basically good to go. His lungs are the only organs that still need to fully mature, but every day he gets a little closer to breathing on his own. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Maternity Pictures - group 2

2011-05-18T10:19:00.001-04:00

* Updated - I am not sure if the first post of pictures ever posted, you can find the post here.

Here are the rest of the maternity pictures. I am in love with them! I can't wait to get the hi-res images so I can get some printed.

P.S. This is my 250th post!

The star of this blog...

2011-05-16T11:33:00.000-04:00

This blog helped me get through our infertility struggles more than I ever thought possible. Now a days it has taken a different direction, with less venting about heartache, bitterness and disappointment it is about joy, happiness and a certain little boy growing away. I want to be able to look back and read over these posts to remember every moment of this pregnancy. I am not naive I know this maybe our only pregnancy, maybe not. That is up to God. So from now on the star of this blog is Baby P.

Cloth Diaper stash

2011-05-12T09:28:00.000-04:00

Our cloth diapering stash has begun to increase! Thanks to my friends and my awesome Mom.

We registered for some Bum Genius 4.0 All-in-ones (I call these Daddy Diapers), which we received a few of but my main stash is coming from GoGreen Pocket Diapers. You can peruse their website here. The reason I am going with GoGreen the most is because one of my best friends uses their cloth diapers and she raves about them. They are half the cost of some of the more popular brands like, BumGenius, Fuzzibunz and G-Diapers. GoGreen Pocket Diapers range from $8.99-$14.99 for the new Champ versus $20-30 for the other brands. I have changed quite a few of her little girls pocket diapers and must say I love them.

Last night the owner of GoGreen announced on Face.book that she had new inventory and a new version of her diapers called The Champ 2.0. I have been waiting weeks for her to get inventory again. All she had left were girl colors and prints, I don't think she has quite gathered how popular her diapers are yet. Anyway I called my Mom and let her know and she said "I want to order you 10, here's my credit card number". Wow, thanks Mom! We now have a total of 15 diapers but still need a few more to be able to go more than one day without doing laundry. So far, personally, I have only spent about $75.00 on diapers that will last me until he is potty trained. I'd say that is a pretty good deal. Of course I still want to buy quite a few more diapers so that number will increase but it will in no way reach what we would spend in disposables.

I can't wait to put him in his new diapers and start writing more about our experience. Now all I need is some laundry detergent so I can wash all these new diapers.

Maternity pics :)

2011-05-08T11:21:00.000-04:00

Well I can cross one thing off my to-do list and that is take maternity pictures. My wonderful brother-in-law asked his roommate, who is a professional photographer, if we would do it for us. He basically charged us nothing in the world of photography. We went yesterday and I already have all the proofs and edited photos. I want to show you a little sneak of how they turned out, I am really happy with them. It was important for me to get this done since there is no guarantee I will ever get to experience this again. I want to immortalize this moment in our lives forever. The Captain was right when he said that once we got pregnant there would be so much joy that all the pain is in the past. That is true even though I still live with it everyday it is not at the forefront of my emotions anymore. Everyday I get a little bit stronger and count the months since I haven't cried.

Happy Mother's Day to all you new mommies, veteran mommies and mommies to be!

P.S. I got a Coach purse from The Captain! He knows me all too well. . .

34 weeks! (and one day)

2011-05-05T12:50:00.000-04:00

I didn't get to post yesterday since I was out of town for work all day. When I got home all I wanted to do was sleep. That is a recurring theme these days, I get home from work and sleep for about an hour. I am tired, dog tired. Dog. Tired.

Monday night The Captain and I went to BRU to pick up a few of the last big items we need. We had such a good time running around the store, I think he was a little less over whelmed this time. We had to get our stroller, his car seat base, the infant swing and a glider. Of course we waited too long to go get the stroller and it was discontinued in the store, only available on-line, so we tested them out all over again. I actually like the one we picked better than the first one. I now have three huge boxes in my living room, I am currently realizes how much stuff one little person needs. Where do I put this stuff?

I love to go into his room and just imagine him using his crib and his toys and dressing him in all the cute clothes we have collected. I can't wait until next month!

Best Moment of the week: Shopping for our little guy together.

Epiphany of the week: If I do not put my feet up at the end of the day they are balloons. and they HURT!

Entertaining question/comment of the week: "How far along are you? 5 months?" The best compliment so far and when I told the clerk I was 8 1/2 months pregnant her face was priceless.

Obsessions: Still obsessing over my to-do list and the overwhelming pile of laundry to be washed. Scary!

What I am most looking forward to this week: Mother's Day! I am still in shock that I get to celebrate this year. It has been a long time coming. This holiday was one of the darkest days of the past few years.

What I miss the most: My ankles. . .

Symptoms: I hate to sound like I am about to complain about this pregnancy because I love every single second of being pregnant, even the miserable ones. There are things that have started changing that are not so comfortable and I just need to be real about it. The swelling in my feet and ankles is slowing moving up my legs, the skin is so tight it's painful. I am hot all the time, all the time. My joints hurt, even my finger joints. How is it possible to have to pee every half hour or less all day long?

Milestones: Baby can recognize and react to simple songs...time to start practicing your lullabies! In fact, baby will recognize frequently sung tunes after birth and probably find them soothing. Less cute news: He now urinates about one pint per day. Get the diapers ready! *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Baby on the move

2011-04-29T18:04:00.001-04:00

I caught the baby on the move last night. I hope to get him again soon. Check out the right hand side of the video.

Random ramblings

2011-04-28T10:33:00.000-04:00

The Captain got home a few minutes before we were supposed to leave last night with my early Mother's Day gift. I was shocked he said a couple of weeks ago that I shouldn't celebrate since I am not a mother yet. Let's just say he was loudly corrected. He got me a Flipcam Camcorder! I love it, I have been wanting to catch the baby moving ever since I have been able to see it. It is now in my purse ready to go at a moments notice.

Childbirth Class was a bust. Last week a different woman taught our class and said she would put us on the schedule and if there was a conflict she would call. Well all week, no call, so we went as planned. Class is 45 minutes away and when we got there no one home. She emailed and apologized but still that sucked. We went down the street to the Tarpon Springs Sponge Docks instead. It is an historic Greek village in Tarpon Springs where the sponge boats go out and harvest sponges. We went to the best Greek bakery and had dessert.

Half way home The Captain says we should have gone to Babies R Us instead and bought our stroller and went shopping. I about choked on my spit. I didn't think men thought of things like that. He totally made me melt that he was thinking about the baby.

My feet and ankles are swelling more and more now. The skin is so tight and feels bruised. I am going to talk to our midwife again about this, she keeps saying not to worry. Sometimes it feels like the bottom half of my leg is going numb. I am really surprised my hands aren't swollen, I can still wear my rings. Hmmm?

33 weeks!

2011-04-27T10:32:00.001-04:00

With only 7 weeks to go, 49 days to be exact, in this pregnancy I am starting to get a little overwhelmed by all that I want to get done. Here's the list of things that I want and need to get done well before my due date (in no particular order):

Interview pediatricians
Take maternity pictures
The Captain has his New Daddy Boot Camp class
Install the carseat
Return/exchange duplicates at Target
Purchase remaining items on registry (necesseties only)
Pack hospital bags
scrub house clean (if you have ever lived with a Golden Retriever you can relate)
Tour hospital?
Look at money matters
Write birth plan
Write thank you cards

That is all I can think of at the moment. It doesn't seem that daunting, it's only 12 items but when all you want to do is sleep I can't help but wonder when they will get done. I had every intention of starting to write thank you notes this week but I get home from work and nap for over an hour, make dinner, eat, watch tv, eat again, and go to bed. Don't even think of asking me to give up food or sleep.

I am super excited about this weekend though. My Mother-in-law and Sister-in-law and are throwing me a baby shower luncheon at this place in St. Pete called Practically Picasso. You paint your own pottery! Apparently they have been talking with the artist and she has drawn an outline (they won't tell me what we are painting) and everyone will paint and sign it for the baby. I think it is such a cute idea and our little boy will have a very special gift from those that love him. I will be sure to post pictures of our craftiness.

Baby P is getting so big, every day. He moves constantly and is just starting to find room under my ribs. He is getting a lot stronger too, last night I thought he was going to make me pee my pants he hit my bladder so hard.

Our last Childbirth Class is tonight. We should be learning labor positions and going over any anxieties or last minute questions.

Best Moment of the week: Being able to swim in the pool! It took away all the extra weight upfront, glorious!

Epiphany of the week: Do not bend over after eating unless you want to taste your food again. Gross!

Entertaining question/comment of the week: Don't have one this week.

Obsessions: What am I not obsessing over this week? See list above.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Finishing Childbirth Classes, baby shower luncheon and scheduling a massage. My good friend is delivering her baby tomorrow so I am definitely looking forward to meeting her little girl.

What I miss the most: My ankles. . .

Symptoms: Hotness! I am not talking about my bikini ready body but temperature. For the first time in my life I can sleep with only a sheet on me.

Milestones: Things are heating up inside as well: Baby may grow up to a full inch this week alone, and his brain is developing like crazy. Pretty soon, he'll be able to coordinate breathing with sucking and swallowing. Also, his bones are hardening, and he's started to keep his eyes open when he's awake. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Packing the hospital bag

2011-04-25T12:34:00.000-04:00

One of the things I want to get accomplished in the next two weeks is packing the hospital bags. I would like to have it done by 35ish weeks pregnant. Hopefully, that will give me a month of peace of mind. I said hopefully. I have started my list and would love some feedback from Moms who have been through this before. Are there things on the list that are ridiculous or things I have forgotten that are must haves? Some of the items won't be packed until last minute but at least I will have the list to go by while packing.

I am thinking of packing a hospital stay bag and a L&D (Labor and Delivery) bag since at our hospital I will be moving buildings after birth. My thinking is that Jimmy can take the labor stuff to the car and bring up the stay bag. Is that crazy or practical?

L&D bag

Birthing/Exercise Ball
Lavender scents for Aromatherapy
Massage oil for back rubs
Rice sock for heat therapy
Affirmation cards (blog post coming soon)
Chapstick
Cooler with snacks and drinks
Cash and change for vending machine
Camera and charger
Video Camera and charger (still need to buy)
birth plan
hospital registration paperwork
Cord blood Kit
Socks
iPod and dock for Hypnobirthing scripts
Pillows

Hospital Bag

Erin's Clothes

nursing tanks
nursing bras
yoga pants
gym shorts
socks

The Captain's clothes

shorts
t-shirts
underwear
sleep shorts

nipple butter
bottom balm
boppy pillow
pillows from home
towel (I've heard the hospital towels are tiny)
nursing pads
camera and charger
video camera and charger
baby book
toiletries (last minute)

toothpaste
toothbrush
deoderant
make up
face lotion
body lotion

hair dryer and brush

Baby Bag

Going home outfit
sleep sacks
swaddlers
blanket
hats
socks

Baby shower madness

2011-04-21T09:08:00.001-04:00

Our co-ed baby shower was on Sunday and I couldn't have asked for a better party. It was more than I ever dreamed of. We had so much fun! The shower was at our house so everyone got to see the nursery and we just hung out and enjoyed the company. The Captain ordered a pony keg (80 beers instead of 150) and they drank the whole thing, I couldn't believe it. We are so fortunate to have such amazing friends and family. We truly felt so blessed that night after everyone left. My sister and my best friend (other sister) stayed up until midnight rifling through everything and putting most of it away, packing the diaper bag and trying out the Snap'N'Go Stroller my Mom got us. I almost pee'd my pants watching my sister try and put the car seat back in the base, she needs some practice. After about 5 minutes I finally told her she was trying to put it in backwards. buwhaahahha. Here are some of the pictures from Sunday.

A yummy, yummy cake from Publix. Our invitations had the saying "One Fish, Two Fish & Baby Boy Blue Fish" on them. My extremely talented friend Jenni designed the invitations; I highly suggest checking out her website Firefly Inviations and Face.book page.

Definitely a Chick Magnet on board!

Unscrambling baby words is a lot harder than you think

Classic Jimmy! Tami made the boys race drinking beer out of baby bottles. He squeezed his a little too hard.

That's my Mom in the background trying to explain the ribbon game to Jimmy

He gets a hug and a kiss because he was about 6 inches too short. I love this man.

I don't think I have to tell you that's my sister.

My two sisters. What would I ever do without them?

32 weeks (8 months)

2011-04-20T15:43:00.000-04:00

Our baby shower was this past weekend and I promise that post is coming, I just need to upload the pictures tonight when I get home.

I went in for my 32 week check-up today and everything is still looking perfect. My midwife checked and the baby's head is down and ready for birth, just not too soon. His heart beat was nice and strong in the 150's and my fundal height was 34 cm. I am curious about the fundal height, she said it is normal but the last two appointments it has been 2 cm above the week that I am pregnant. Does that mean he might come early?

Childbirth Class #2 was Monday night and I thought it was way more fun than the first one. We practiced a bunch of different labor positions and positions for turning the baby. We watched a really good video of a natural labor and delivery where she pretty much used every single position. We discussed the different interventions and pain relief methods so that we are prepared just in case. She did a really neat thing with explaining the epidural; she taped strings to me to simulate all the wires and gadgets you have to be hooked up to when you get an epidural. The Captain didn't realize it came with a blood pressure cuff, blood/oxygen monitor, IV and a catheter. That is why I am more terrified of the epidural than the actual labor.

This is the last week he is the size of a squash. Oh my! Less than 60 days to go.

Best Moment of the week: Of course, the baby shower and being with all our friends and family who has been with us on this journey since the beginning.

Epiphany of the week: I have a ton of stuff to buy and do over the next few weeks.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I will just say it involves a fart, an enclosed space and a lot of laughter.

Obsessions: Sorting more baby things and figuring out what's left to do.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Easter! It is one of my favorite holidays.

What I miss the most: My ankles. . .

Symptoms: Nothing new this week

Milestones: Ready or not, baby's getting ready to emerge. He's probably in the head-down position by now, with his bottom facing up. This is the comfiest way for his body to fit in your increasingly cramped womb and will make his eventual exit *Courtesy of TheBump.com

31 weeks!

2011-04-13T08:35:00.000-04:00

Another week has gone by; I can't believe it. I thought time was supposed to be slowing down not speeding up. I didn't even get another blog post in this past week. What a slacker! This past weekend I was so busy I completely regret it now. Since my baby shower on Sunday is going to be at my house; the house needed a good scrubbing so that is what I did on Saturday. Sunday I was supposed to rest since my feet hurt so bad but I decide to be brilliant and start refinishing my high chair. My Mom gave me my high chair, she still has my sister's at her house, it is solid wood and super cute. I plan on sanding all the old stain off and re-staining it. I am thinking about doing something different with the tray though, I haven't quite worked that out yet. Anyway, I am rambling, I got the tray sanded and the top row of the back and that's it. This is going to take a long time to complete I think.

On with the update. . .

Baby P is the size of a Squash this month!

Best Moment of the week: Seeing my husbands reaction every time he feels the baby move. It's like its the first time, every time.

Epiphany of the week: There are only 9 weeks left until my due date. Yikes!

Entertaining question/comment of the week: This one comes from my husband. I was telling him about someone I know who had her baby at 36 weeks recently. "I am not ready to think that he could be here in less than 5 weeks!".

Obsessions: Preparing for hosting my baby shower at my house. I hope it's clean enough.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Childbirth Class #2 on Monday, seeing my sister this weekend and being with friends.

What I miss the most: Not really anything. I love being pregnant.

Symptoms: Nothing new this week

Milestones: Baby's going through major brain and nerve development these days. His irises now react to light, and all five senses are in working order. (He won't pick up anything from his nose until after birth, though -- smell is transferred through air, not amniotic fluid.) *Courtesy of TheBump.com

The Captain took pictures of me last night so here are two of my favorites at 31 weeks.

He had just poked me with a knee or an elbow

30 weeks!

2011-04-07T09:14:00.000-04:00

Oops I totally missed last week. Oh well, chalk it up to pregnancy brain.Things are moving along at a lightning pace these days, it seems. There is still so much to do, I don't know if we will get it all done. I need to interview Pediatricians, fill out Cord Blood paperwork, finish our Child Birth classes, two more baby showers and countless clothes to wash and put away. My wonderful, amazing, beautiful friend Tiffany, Hi Tiff, dropped off three huge bags of baby clothes yesterday. I only made it through one bag and it filled up 2 of my dresser drawers. The Captain was like "that's all from one bag! We won't have to buy any clothes". Men, so naive. He really thinks Momma won't be buying any baby clothes. It was so surreal folding little shirts and shorts and imagining what he will look like wearing those outfits.

We had our 30 week check up yesterday and things are moving along perfectly. My fundal height for the last two appointments have been measuring one week ahead but they haven't said that I should be concerned about a big baby.

Baby P is the size of a Squash this month!

Best Moment of the week: Putting away baby clothes and putting finishing touches on the nursery. Feeling the baby get the hiccups, it's a weird sensation.

Epiphany of the week: Breathing techniques really do work as long as you keep your focus. Remind me I said that after my birth story is posted.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: This is from a couple of weeks ago but when I saw my 3 year old cousin he said "Can I see your baby?" Me "He's in my belly, you can't see him yet." Chase "Well then open it".

Obsessions: Figuring out what body part is sticking out and moving across my belly. It is a fun new game we like to play.

What I am most looking forward to this week: The next birthing class and cleaning the house for my baby shower in 2 weeks.

What I miss the most: Not really anything. I love being pregnant.

Symptoms: Swollen feet and ankles, braxton hicks contractions are starting.

Milestones: As baby's skin smoothes out, his brain just keeps getting more wrinkled. All those grooves and indentations increase surface area, meaning more room for that oh-so-essential brain tissue. He's also adding some brawn -- his grip is now strong enough to grasp a finger. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Childbirth Class #1

2011-04-05T10:14:00.000-04:00

The first of three classes went great. I really like the Doula teaching the class. The first thing we did was go over a list of questions, worries and things we want to learn out of the class; that way she knows more of what to cover specifically. She did an overview of what the different phases are of labor, the difference in effacement, dilation and station and a simulation birth with a baby doll and a pelvic bone. The Captain got a little nervous when she asked if was going to cut the cord and that the one thing he must remember is if they tell me to push the placenta out he is to tell me "Erin, do NOT push". He started biting his nails at this point. Poor guy.

We did some practice breathing techniques for a "minute long contraction". The first time she had me do it practicing with a focal point and then the both of practice. Next she gave us both a bag of ice and when the "contraction" started drop the bag into your left hand, do the breathing exercise with the focal point. the bag got colder but was manageable. Then we had to do the same thing without a focal point in the other hand. The ice became painful; I almost had to drop the bag before the minute was up. It was a nice way to see that the techniques really do work and can help take your mind off of the discomfort.

At the end of the class she did a 20 minute relaxation session. It was just like the hypnosis CD's I have been listening too. The Captain hadn't listened to any of them yet so I wasn't sure how he would do. Let's just say he is easily hypnotized. He was snoring 5 minutes in!

We got a ton of reading material to go over this week. Our homework is to practicing our breathing techniques every night, do my kegels everyday, chart my nutrition (she gave me a handy checklist) and start the Hypnobabies week 1 reading material and CD's.

Next week we practice birthing and labor positions. . .

Braxton Hicks

2011-04-04T11:37:00.000-04:00

For the past week I am sure I have been experiencing some Braxton Hicks contractions. They aren't everyday but I can tell when my belly gets really hard and tight that I am having one. I thought they would be painful but they aren't. They just make me really uncomfortable. I am getting to practice breathing through it though and so far it works.

On another note, we have our first childbirth class tonight with a doula; she offers a 3 week private class. The group of doulas are from For the Love of Birth and they are in Tarpon Springs. I am excited because they are familiar with Hypnobabies and will use the Hypnobabies terminology during the class. I think the private class will help The Captain feel more comfortable and not be too embarrassed to ask questions and such. We have watched a birthing documentary before so I know he knows what to expect but he doesn't know any of the technical stuff; such as what is a mucus plug? When do we head to the hospital? How to time contractions? etc. I can't wait to fill you in tomorrow on how it goes. Wish us luck!

The nursery reveal!

2011-03-30T14:08:00.000-04:00

Hello friends! The nursery is basically done, finally. In the mean time I wanted to upload some pictures of how it has turned out so far. We are still waiting on the diaper changing pad that will go on top of the dresser and a rocker or glider. I still want to get a lamp for reading. The Captain says he gets to decorate the two remaining walls since I did everything else. We got some amazing things at the baby shower last weekend and can't wait to put them all away. Fortunately I was smart enough to take photos before I got back because right now you can't see the carpet there is so much stuff covering the floor. If you have questions on where things came from leave a comment below and I will comment back with the answer. I hope Baby P enjoys his new room as much as I have been.

I made tissue paper pompoms to hang above where the changing pad will be so he will have something fun to look at. I plan on making one of the drawers an organized diaper changing station. The shelves are from Target, you can find them here.

I paid a little more to have custom crib bedding made from Etsy. I absolutely LOVE the way it turned out and so glad I made the purchase. Being an Interior Designer I couldn't find anything store bought that I was passionate about. I bought the set from the Etsy shop abusymother. She is a very talented seamstress, the craftsmanship is very good.

I love seeing the car seat in his room! All of the books are from my bookcase when I was a little girl, I can't wait to read The Bernstein Bears and The Golden Books to him at night. My sister bought the recordable book "On the Night You Were Born" and gave it to me at the shower. She did such a good job reading the story and now Baby P will hear his Aunt's voice all the time. Tear! The book case is from One Step Ahead and can be found here.

I got this stuffed animal several months ago during a trip to Ikea, I couldn't pass him up. I love it.

28 weeks!

2011-03-24T14:22:00.000-04:00

We received several surprises this week. One being a car seat showed up on our door step, our first shower gift! It was from my cousins in New Jersey that aren't able to make the baby shower. I was so shocked, what a sweet gift. I love the car seat! The Captain wanted to install it in the car ASAP but we might be getting rid of my car in the next few weeks to get a family car. The other thing is that his parents dropped off the mattress for the crib! Now all I need are crib sheets and it will be finished.

I went in for my 1-hr Glucose test this morning and it didn't taste as bad as I was expecting. It was just way too sweet for me, I am not a sweets person. I like chocolate and that is about as much of a sweet tooth as I have. It reminded me of the ice pops from when I was a kid, you know when they would melt and you would drink it instead? Man did it make this baby freak out though. I went down to my car to get in a nap before the blood draw but it was as if he was doing Jumping Jacks in there. There was no way I was taking a nap and it started to make me nauseous.

I can't wait for tomorrow. I will be on the road to Pensacola at noon for my baby shower this weekend. I am beyond excited to see my family and friends but also to open presents.

Do we really need to see a picture of an eggplant, again?

Best Moment of the week: Receiving gifts in the mail; having a car seat and a mattress for the crib.

Epiphany of the week: Too much sugar makes the baby a spaz.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: When my midwife checked his heartbeat yesterday she said "I am thundering away on my horses, mom. Nothing to worry about in here."

Obsessions: Baby Shower!

What I am most looking forward to this week: Baby Shower and family.

What I miss the most: Kind of miss bending over to pick up stuff instead of an awkward squat.

Symptoms: Tired, aching back. Swollen feet and ankles. Big knockers.

Milestones: Baby's lungs are mature enough that, if born right now, she has a pretty good chance of surviving (with help from medical technology). Her skin is still pretty wrinkly (one byproduct of living in amniotic fluid) but will smoothen as fat continues to deposit. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Miracle Bra

2011-03-22T13:27:00.000-04:00

Not the Miracle Bra that Victoria has a secret about but a miracle, support, nursing bra! Today at lunch I went to this little lingerie shop that sells nursing bras as well, to get fitted for a bra. The problem with the maternity bras and nursing bras that I already own is that my boobs still hang down to my knees. I am in serious need of an over-the-shoulder boulder holder. At first the sales lady was shying away from putting me in a nursing bra yet because my milk hasn't come in and they might get bigger, blah, blah, blah. So I appease her and try on several hundred maternity bras, without under-wire, that are supposed to be able to hold 10 lbs in each cup. Just what I thought my boobs are hanging down to my knees. She finally gave in and put me in the HotMilk bra.

A miracle happened. . .I am supported and it's sexy. Surely this is too good to be true. There will be enough give so that I can get bigger. I guess she felt so bad for me because then she gave me 40% off of them!

HotMilk actually has engineers design their support structure for heavy breasts. They have several different cuts, I prefer the more demi look than the typical V cut. These are the two bras I got today and I can't wait to put that bad boy on tomorrow.

Except in light blue

Baby bumps and showers

2011-03-21T09:11:00.000-04:00

I had the pleasure of attending Laura's baby shower this weekend and we finally got a belly picture together. If you remember we are only days apart in our pregnancies. She is also welcoming a little boy in June. Check out her blog, A Christian's Life and IVF. It was so wonderful being apart of such a happy moment in her and her husbands lives. I know how long she has waited for a baby shower of her own.

For once, I did not think twice about attending yet another baby shower. To have that negativity and bitterness gone is a great feeling. I always felt so guilty for feeling bitter about attending someone's baby shower; who obviously just looked at her husband and got pregnant.

27 weeks

2011-03-16T11:21:00.000-04:00

I am feeling every bit of 27 weeks pregnant this week. My ankles are back to be swollen and they hurt when I try to roll them or touch them. I am sure the weight gain this week is all water retention. I am really enjoying watching him move my belly as he moves. Something embarrassingly funny is that last night he was kicking so hard he was actually making my boob bounce up and down. Yes, they have gotten that big. I prefer not to talk about it.

My first baby shower is next Saturday! I will be driving home to Pensacola for it. I hope my Mom doesn't mind stopping every half hour for me to pee. I can't wait to get there and see all the cute baby stuff I get to bring home. I tear up just thinking about the fact that I am actually having my very own baby shower. This is such a dream come true.

Best Moment of the week: Watching my belly move as he is kicking me. It makes it all that much more real.

Epiphany of the week: Water retention is painful. Period.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: So, what cup size are you now? I don't think that is anyone's business except the woman at the lingerie store fitting me for my new nursing bra.

Obsessions: Finishing the nursery. Hopefully sometime next week I will be able to finally take some pictures.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Getting fitted for nursing bras. A friend of mine told me about this manufacturer HotMilk, they have beautiful, lacy nursing bras for even big chested women. There is a local store that sells them. Check out their website.

What I miss the most: Nothing I am loving pregnancy this week.

Symptoms: Besides having swollen ankles my back is starting to hurt pretty regularly. It's more of a tired ache than a pain.

Milestones: Baby's lungs are going through some major developments these days, which (combined with the opening of previously plugged nostrils) means he's now able to practice inhaling and exhaling. The lack of air in your womb means every "breath" is filled with amniotic fluid, but hey -- it's progress. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

I love photoshop :)

2011-03-15T11:46:00.000-04:00

I bought the cutest picture frame at Target last night for the nursery but I want to put a picture of the baby in it. So instead of having the generic picture that comes with the frame in it for the next few months I decided to make an "expecting announcement" to go in its place. This is where photoshop comes in, I <3 the amazing things you can do with this program. I took colors and images from the nursery fabric and created this little card that will now be in the picture frame until June. Only 90 days to go!!

26 weeks

2011-03-10T12:18:00.000-05:00

I feel huge! I have been having some pretty strong growing pains this week so I know I have grown since last week. I am loving this belly though, I have been waiting for it for a very long time. 2 more weeks and I will be 7 months pregnant, I can't believe it. I have to go for my one-hour glucose test in a week. I am not looking forward to drinking that sugary drink. Bleh!

Best Moment of the week: Watching my belly move as he is kicking me. It makes it all that much more real.

Epiphany of the week: Keep a stool under your desk to reduce leg swelling.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My dad and I laid out by his pool last weekend and he said "you look so funny with that big belly hanging out". Thanks Dad.

Obsessions: Practicing my Hypnobabies and enjoying the deep sleep I get after listening to the relaxation track before bed.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Washing more baby clothes I have received and organizing the dresser. Yeah I never got around to doing that last week. Oops.

What I miss the most: Nothing I am loving pregnancy this week.

Symptoms: I have the linea-negra now and it is getting progressively darker.

Milestones: Baby's soaking up your antibodies, getting his immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and he'll soon be practicing the blink...perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

His kicks!

2011-03-08T13:48:00.000-05:00

The most amazing thing is happening right now. I am actually seeing his kicks! My tummy is lurching and poking out every time he kicks me. This is the first time I have been able to physically see it. I am just awe struck.

I hope he does it for his Daddy when he gets home tonight.

Nursery + crib bedding

2011-03-08T08:49:00.000-05:00

The crib bedding arrived in the mail yesterday and I couldn't be more thrilled with it. I am in love with how his room is turning out so far. I <3 Etsy! Now all we need is the mattress and his bed will be complete. The rest of the room is a different story. My dad still needs to finish the closet and one last coat of paint. I don't think it needs it but he is insisting on putting another coat of paint on the walls, which is driving me nuts cause I can't put up any of the shelves or artwork yet.

My first shower is in 3 weeks and I will be almost 30 weeks pregnant. I can't believe how fast all of this is happening still. I hope I get the crib mattress at the shower so at least the bed will be 100%.

Once again I apologize for the crappy cell phone shot but I wanted to get it uploaded quickly for you.

Nursery book case

2011-03-03T08:52:00.000-05:00

This is the bookcase I purchased for the nursery. I love it! It makes the books pop off the wall so it should be easy for the baby to find the book he would like to read, once he is older of course.

1. Bookcase - One Step Ahead, Sling bookshelf with Storage Bins $69.95

25 weeks - whoo hoo

2011-03-02T09:27:00.000-05:00

I can tell now that I am getting bigger every day not just on a weekly basis. On a positive note, the swelling in my feet and ankles has gone away, for now. I think drinking a ton of water and elevating my feet at work and at home has helped. I am hoping it was a fluke. I have my 25 week appointment this afternoon so I will speak to my midwife about it.

New windows on our house are being installed as I type this. I can't wait to get home and see the transformation. We had old crank style windows before that over half of the windows lost their crank and didn't have screens. So we couldn't have the windows open when the weather was nice out. Not anymore!

It has been 3 days since starting the Hypnobabies daily practice and I am loving it. I am a little worried about the fact that I can't make it through a whole CD without seeming to fall asleep. Maybe I am just that deep into a hypnotic state because I will wake up and the CD is done playing. My subconscious should still be receiving the messages though. It has definitely already changed my thinking on birthing my baby. I am excited about it, not scared in anyway. It trains you to think that you will have an easy and fast labor, no negative thoughts in this household. I am so relaxed even at work now, it's amazing.

Enough about me, let's talk about the baby. Only 3 more weeks until I am in the third trimester, it doesn't seem possible.

Best Moment of the week: Putting the crib together and seeing nursery start to unfold. I love walking there and imagining what it will be like when he is here.

Epiphany of the week: Elevate your feet to de-swell your feet.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My bosses wife said to me "you look really pregnant today". Ummm did she just call me fat?

Obsessions: Practicing my Hypnobabies and trying to relax.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Washing more baby clothes I have received and organizing the dresser.

What I miss the most: Nothing I am loving pregnancy this week.

Symptoms: Back aches, pressure when I lay on my back now, boobs are still growing and still getting acid reflux.

Milestones: That oh-so-handy sense of equilibrium is kicking in, and baby's learning to distinguish right side up from upside down. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Nursery progress

2011-02-26T22:48:00.000-05:00

Furniture delivered - check

Crib assembled - check

Bedding arriving any day - check

Bookcase stocked with books - check

It's coming along. . .

The furniture wasn't in the room 5 minutes and The Captain had to open the chest of drawers. We still hadn't painted the room yet, as you can see it is a light blue color.

Here's the Captain assembling the crib. I supervised. I'm a good supervisor.

The walls are now painted a pale gray color not to contrast with the bright colors of the bedding.

The almost finished product. I can't wait until it is done and we have our son in there.

Sausage toes

2011-02-24T08:50:00.000-05:00

Ack!

My feet and ankles are so swollen! I noticed it last night and asked the Captain if he thought so too and indeed they are swollen. I don't know what to do besides propping my feet up and drinking a ton of water. I really pray that I am not stuck with sausage toes for the next 4 months. Even my flip flops were tight this morning, I can't go barefoot the rest of this pregnancy. Help!

Considering HypnoBabies

2011-02-23T14:41:00.000-05:00

Hypnobabies is a complete childbirth education course that also teaches Gerald Kein's famous Painless Childbirth techniques to Hypnobabies mothers so that they can enter hypnosis, deepen it themselves and remain mobile during labor, completely comfortable at all times. Most Hypno-babies have no drugs in their systems when they are born, and are able to nurse, breathe well and interact with their happy parents immediately.

Every HypnoBabies birth story I read sounds so amazing and “pain” free. They use the word “pain-free” but I don’t think birthing a baby will be "painless". People assume that means not feeling anything-that the "hypno-anesthesia" would be like an epidural and make the body numb. It doesn't work this way. Hypno-anesthesia is very strong endorphins. It's like when you cut yourself or you twist your ankle and at first it hurts a lot, but then it doesn't hurt as much, that's endorphins. They soothe and dull pain, but they don't take away sensation. With a pain-free unmedicated birth with hypnosis, you would still feel your baby being born; it just wouldn't feel like pain to you. HypnoBabies changes some words to get rid of the fear and negative connotations like the words pain and contraction. The word “pain” is changed to “discomfort” and the word “contraction” is changed to “pressure waves”.

It’s not that I want to be hardcore and birth my baby natural but I am more afraid of the standard approach to a hospital birth than I am about giving birth. I am terrified of having interventions and ending up with an emergency Caesarian. Too many moms I know had that exact experience.

I have not been able to find a bad HypnoBabies experience on the internet, they are all amazingly positive birth stories. I cannot wait to start doing the home study course and listening to the cd’s and affirmations. I have already started reading the HypnoBirthing, The Mongan Method, book and listening to its cd for the past week and I am instantly relaxed. It takes me about 5 minutes and I am in the deepest relaxation, I could fall asleep and sometimes do.

24 weeks - 6 months

2011-02-23T09:05:00.000-05:00

We have reached the viability mark. At 24 weeks Doctors will take measures to save the baby or stop labor if I went into labor early. A little bit of relief is washing over me. I ordered the Hypno-babies home study program and cd's that I can't wait to start listening to. I think this is worth a whole post on it's own but I am excited to start the hypno-birthing lessons. The Captain and I want a completely natural birth experience and decided this was our best choice. If you have experience with Hypno-birthing I would love to hear it.

The baby is still the size of a papaya this week, next week we change vegetables.

Best Moment of the week: The baby finally gave the Captain what he wanted, a kick of his very own.

Epiphany of the week: A lot of walking in the day, i.e. sight seeing, makes you feel like you have to pee that more often.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I don't think I have one this week.

Obsessions: The baby shower! I have two showers coming up, one in my home town and one here. I am getting asked a million questions that I need to start getting them answers too. Plus a guest list.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Going to Joann Fabrics to get what I need to make a sling carrier and a high chair cover for my high chair when I was a baby.

What I miss the most: Being able to stand up and put on pants. I must sit now or fear toppling over.

Symptoms: Back pain arrived this week, it doesn't really hurt per se but more of a tired ache all day long.

Milestones: Baby's skin is becoming more opaque as the fat starts to pack on. And, thanks to the formation of small capillaries, his newly thick skin is taking on a fresh pink glow. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Back from our BabyMoon

2011-02-22T09:26:00.001-05:00

We made it back last night after several flight delays. On Friday our flight was delayed 6 hours! Yes, you read that correctly 6 hours, due to maintenance problems. After the 2nd hour they finally started re-routing people to different planes or different airlines. We ended up having to go all the way to New York then back down to DC but we made it, even though we lost half a day of our trip. We ended up having a fantastic time regardless.

Spending time with my sister is so priceless and we sucked up every last minute together. The Captain was amazed with the White House and all the monuments. It was cold, really cold but so much fun. I will post some pictures as soon as I get them down loaded. Except the ones from Sunday night. Have you seen the movie The Hangover? You know at the end of the movie they look at the pictures from the night before to find out what happened. Well they all got to see what they did because I kept taking pictures all night since I was the only sober one. It was hilarious watching them look at the pictures Monday morning. Let's just say there was dancing at the bar with metal takeout tins, a birthday cake fight when we got back to the apartment and drunken wrestling. Do you have any idea what it is like being out with 4 drunk people in a city you don't know how to get around and have to drive? Not fun that's all I have to say.

The best thing of all that happened was The Captain felt the baby kick for the first time! He was so cute and his expression was priceless. Except now the baby will be kicking up a storm and as soon as he puts his hand there he stops, he could have it there for 20 minutes and not a peep. It's like he knows somehow.

As soon as we got home last night we put the crib together! The room is complete with furniture but still missing the essentials. I can't wait to show you pictures. All we need now is the bedding to come in, the rest of the decor and a baby.

Happy Birthday to me and my sister!

2011-02-15T08:15:00.000-05:00

Today my sister and I turn 29. Eek!

At least it's not 30. Yet.

I woke up to a beautiful card from The Captain and some Combos. I have been craving Combos for weeks now. I can't wait to see my sister on Friday, we are heading to DC until Monday. She hasn't seen me since I was 10 weeks pregnant so she will be in for a shock.

Now excuse me while I go and try and find some birthday cake to eat. . .

22 weeks

2011-02-09T09:17:00.000-05:00

Despite The Captains best effort not to get me sick, I am in fact sick as a dog. Bleh! I stayed home from work yesterday because I felt horrible and I knew the baby and I would need all the rest we could get in order to beat this thing. I am pretty sure it is just a chest cold and I am feeling much better today, thankfully. All the resting did some good because I felt some kicks yesterday on my hand! I felt them once before about a week but this time I am sure it was him kicking me. That was the most incredible feeling. I would laugh and say "do it again" and he would kick me again. I so wish The Captain had been home to feel it too. He is already growing up way too fast.

He is our little Papaya this week. I don't know where they come up with these fruit and vegetable sizes but they are amusing. I am noticing more and more his sleep pattern lately. He is awake from 3:00 am - 4:00 am every morning then again from 8-9am. Snoozes until around 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon and then up again from 7:00 - 9:00 at night. The cycles repeats the next day.

Best Moment of the week: Feeling him kick my hand by far.

Epiphany of the week: Little sleep makes for one cranky Momma.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I don't think I have one this week.

Obsessions: Trying to find big enough warm clothes for my trip to D.C. next weekend, to see my sister. This will be our Babymoon too.

What I am most looking forward to this week: A pedicure tonight. Divine.

What I miss the most: Being able to stand up and put on pants. I must sit now or fear toppling over.

Symptoms: oh, the boob pain! My boobs have been sore before but this is just down right painful. I think they are starting to make colostrum.

Milestones: Baby's settling into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

21 weeks w/ belly pics

2011-02-04T10:47:00.000-05:00

I just want to say thank you to all of your encouraging words from my previous post. You all know exactly how to make me feel completely normal and not alone. One of the main reasons why I started blogging.

This week has been crazy busy so I haven't had time to do my usual update but I wanted to at least up date you on our visit with our midwife on Wednesday. We went over the sonogram from last week and I asked her to give me some of his measurements. She said he is measuring perfectly normal and everything looked really good on the sonogram. He was measuring 5 days ahead the measurements say my due date would be June 9th. I don't hold too much stock in this because he will fluctuate on his growth from here on out. But he is a healthy little boy! Now keep in mind these measurements were from 11 days ago so he is a little bit bigger by now:

 
Weight: 13 oz 
Head: 18 cm circumference 
Femur: 3 cm long 
 
It is hard to believe when I remember back to when he was just a

little gummy bear.

Once "when" became "if"

2011-02-02T09:49:00.000-05:00

My husband and I were the couple that so naively thought that we would get pregnant as soon as the condoms went out the window. We would sit in bed at night and think about all the things we would do “when” we got pregnant. When I got pregnant…we wouldn’t be able to go to Costa Rica as often or when I got pregnant we were going to use the Pottery Barn gift cards at Pottery Barn Kids instead of on drapes. Eventually “when” turned into “if”, we have visited Costa Rica three times since then and we have drapes on our living room windows. Going from “when” to “if” was incredibly painful. Hope slowly slipped away as each month and year passed us by.

I know IVF doesn’t work for everyone, even after several tries, and we are very lucky; especially since we have no frozen embryos to fall back on. Now that I am pregnant and there is no more “when” or “if” I can’t say that I am fully healed from that pain. Truthfully I don’t think I ever will be.

That pain is keeping me from connecting with this pregnancy a hundred percent. That is not something I like to admit but I feel the need to be honest with myself. I know I am pregnant but I still can’t conceive that there is a baby, our son, at the end of this. Is that wrong? I try and do everything the books tell me to do, I rub my belly, I sing and read to the baby but I am still waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us. The nursery furniture is finally in our guest room, which I have to stop calling it that it is now our son’s bedroom, I have dreamed so many times of a nursery but I can’t help but think to myself “I hope there’s a return policy”. I hate infertility for making this less enjoyable than it is supposed to be.

I need a good vent

2011-01-31T11:44:00.000-05:00

I apologize in advance but I need to ~~bitch~~ vent about something and this is my outlet. It is about work.

Last Friday my boss asked, no told, me that we would be traveling either next week or the following week to go visit a client for the day. So it was no surprise when he asked me this morning which day I am available this week. I let him know that really only Thursday works for me. He didn't need to know that I am planning on having an early birthday party on Friday.

Now, this is where the venting comes in. That is the last thing he said to me about traveling this week, I just got an email of my flight itinerary. It is a 7:15 AM flight! WTF? And it returns at 7:15 that night, a 12 hour day. I am going to be hurting, physically. It's not just that it is too friggin' early, I mean I am sleep deprived enough already and now I have to get up before 5:00 AM to catch a flight; but they didn't even care to include me in my own travel plans. I think that is very rude of them. I know this seems petty but it has really pissed me off and I know a good deal of that has to do with the enormous amounts of hormones flowing through me right now.

Thanks for listening, I needed to get that off my chest or the two headed dragon was going to do some damage, soon. Real soon.

Beginnings of a nursery

2011-01-28T14:23:00.001-05:00

And without further ado. . .the nursery mood board.

1. Paper PomPoms to hang over either the crib or the changing pad to act as a mobile.

2. Behr Paint in Smoked Oyster. Not too sold on this color I am thinking more of a cool gray as a neutral.

3. Rocking Chair from Wal-mart, I am going to try and find a colorful pillow or throw for it.

4. Night light from Ikea for late night diaper changes.

5. Front facing book case by Once Upon a Time

6. Modern fish tank courtesy of The Captain. This was my Christmas present from him, it is a small 6 gallon tank that will go on top of the high chest (not pictured)

7. Crib and crib bedding. The crib is from Babies R Us in an Espresso finish, the dresser and chest's pictures were not available on-line. The bedding is being made by abusymother from Etsy.

8. Area Rug from The Land of Nod

9. End table by Target for a glass of water and other breast feeding essentials.

I can't wait to start putting everything together and see the final look but I am loving the mood so far. I really wanted a modern look but with a childish feeling. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

20 Weeks!

2011-01-28T09:13:00.000-05:00

Half way point! Who knew it would sneak up on you like that? I'm sorry, what happened to the last 20 weeks? Didn't I just go in for our embryo transfer two weeks ago? I guess the saying time flies when you're having fun really is true. I have loved every single second of being pregnant, I don't want it to be over in 20 weeks. What if this is my only pregnancy? I know some women hate being pregnant and can't wait for it to be over but I think this is the best time of my life right now. Don't get me wrong, there are some un-pleasantries that come with pregnancy like niagra of the panties and the boob pain. Totally worth every second of it!

Awe - my little cantaloupe! I hope that isn't the size of your head when you are born. Ouch!

Best Moment of the week: I still haven't felt the baby kick on the outside yet but The Captain and I can search for the pulsing of the umbilical cord. Just knowing that it is attached to him makes me feel better. It's funny because it will move away from our hand and if he is on his belly then I can't find it any where.

Epiphany of the week: I think my Golden had the epiphany this week or I just now noticed that she knows I am pregnant. Last night I was laying on the sofa watching tv and she was in our bedroom, on her bed, napping. I heard a car door out side and sure enough she comes trotting down the hall to stare at the front door, she realized there was no one coming and came over to me and stared at my belly and then nudged with her nose. I couldn't believe it! It was like she was saying "I am here to protect you and all is okay". Of course, I cried.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: speaking of dogs, my Aunt asks me "What are your plans with the dogs?" I just looked at her, okay it was probably more like a death stare, and then she asks "Are you planning on keeping them?". Really? They are like my children too, am I supposed to discard them just because we are having a baby?

Obsessions: Waiting for a good kick. . .

What I am most looking forward to this week: Picking up the nursery furniture from the store.

What I miss the most: This week I don't miss not being pregnant at all.

Symptoms: oh, the boob pain! My boobs have been sore before but this is just down right painful. I think they are starting to make colostrum.

Milestones: Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies respond best to tastes they've already had via amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you'd like your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

You shouldn't have!

2011-01-27T09:23:00.001-05:00

I would like to say thank you to Kayee from Nothing in the Oven for my very own blog award. I am so grateful! She has been an amazing supporter and friend.

The rules for accepting this award are:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers.

4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

7 Things About Myself

1. I am pregnant! I feel like that should be number one since it took so dang long to get there.

2. I have an identical twin sister named Amanda. If it wasn't for her dying her hair dark you wouldn't know who was who.

3. I would redecorate my house once a month if I had the funds.

4. Murder mysteries are favorite type of book second to anything written by Janet Evonovich

5. I am constantly concerned about how to live a greener life.

6. I love shopping.

7. I LOVE shoe shopping.

15 Blogs I adore:

1. Nothing in the Oven

2. Our Life and IVF

3. The Pioneer Woman

4. From If to When

5. Ridin' With The Robertsons

6. Just Another Day in Paradise

7. Praying for Our First Bundle of Joy

8. Inconceivable Journey

9. We got hitched...we bought the 4 bedroom house...we had twins! Now What?!?

10. Flip Flops & Pearls

11. Conceive This!

12. Dreams of a Baby

13. Handprints on the Wall

14. A Heritage from the Lord

15. Decor8

Thank you ladies for inspiring me, cheering me on and your unwavering support. I look forward to continue reading your journeys and seeing what the future holds.

That other shoe

2011-01-26T10:11:00.000-05:00

You know the one.

The proverbial other shoe.

The one that drops.

I am anticipating it dropping at any moment lately. Things are going a little too smoothly right now for The Captain and I. We don't usually go this long without things going terrible awry, is our luck turning around? Here's a look at how things are going lately.

1.) He was able to get 4 days off without cutting into any vacation time to go with me to D.C. in a few weeks.

2.) Carpets were cleaned yesterday and we got a discount that wasn't expected.

3.) I ordered the bookcase for the nursery yesterday. The order said shipping takes 4-8 business days, it will be delivered Friday.

4.) We are putting in new windows in our house that should take 4-6 weeks to arrive, they are coming in 3 weeks.

Everything is falling into place beautifully to be completed well before baby arrives and I love it but I am scared sh*tless at the same time. The ~~guest room~~ nursery, I need to stop calling it the guest room, is empty just begging to be filled with cute baby stuff. I promise will get the nursery inspiration board done soon so you can see the plans.

20 Week Anatomy Scan

2011-01-24T11:01:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying he is still a he. For a nanosecond we were worried the sonographer was going to say "Congratulations you're having a little girl". But no what we saw a couple of weeks ago was indeed his penis. I was worried he wasn't going to cooperate this morning because I haven't felt him, so I figured he was sleeping. Sure enough the scan showed him in a ball on his tummy sleeping. He did so good to let her get all the measurements and views she needed. He had his hands up by his face, again. Every ultrasound shows him with his hands up by his head or on his face, it is just too darn cute! I wish I could peek in on him any time I wanted to see what he is up to in there. I am so curious about what he is doing especially at 3:00 in the morning when he likes to be awake and moving.

The Sonographer didn't tell us his measurements or weight, she has to go over with the Doc and they will go over them with me next week. Bummer! She did say he is right on track and looks very good, there is no need for any concern. Phew!

19 weeks and making a friend for life

2011-01-20T10:58:00.000-05:00

Many times throughout writing this blog and following so many other blogs I wondered if I would ever get the chance to meet any of you. I feel such a connection with all of you amazing, strong, brave women who have helped me through some of the toughest and darkest times of my life. Even though we have never met in person I consider all of you my friends and that is how I refer to you when talking about you to The Captain.

Well Tuesday I got meet Laura from A Christian's Life and IVF. I happened to be staying in her area for the trade show I was at and we met up for dinner one night. In case you don't follow her blog, she and her husband went through their IVF cycle the same time as us. Our due dates are only two days apart and we are both expecting boys. I knew the moment we sat down and started talking that we will be friends for a very long time. I felt as if we had known each other for years and this was not our first meeting. I can't speak for her but that is how if felt for me. It was so wonderful being able to talk to someone who went through the same thing and is going through the same emotions now. I hope we have the opportunity to get together more often and especially after the babies are born.

I wish we could have an annual conference where we just get together for a weekend and meet in person. Writing this blog and reading other blogs helps me so much therapeutically, I know it would be that much more wonderful to be able to talk face to face.

Now for the 19 week update. . .

Best Moment of the week: Meeting Laura and comparing pregnancies.

Epiphany of the week: Baby loves music. Keep singing.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: "You are so lucky you won't have a hangover for awhile"

Obsessions: Waiting for a good kick. . .

What I am most looking forward to this week: The anatomy scan, I can't wait to see how big his feet really are.

What I miss the most: This week I don't miss not being pregnant at all.

Symptoms: Acid reflux has made its debut. Not very nice at all.

Milestones: Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil, and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Gone until Wednesday

2011-01-16T16:11:00.000-05:00

Hey folks I just wanted to pop in and let you know I am at a conference for work until Wednesday so I will be MIA for a few days. I am hoping I can catch up some of your posts when I get back to the hotel everynight but who knows. Have a great week!

Bump update

2011-01-14T11:24:00.000-05:00

Here is the much requested bump update picture. This picture was taken almost a week ago.

18 weeks! and one day

2011-01-13T09:56:00.000-05:00

I totally forgot to do my update yesterday. I know you were all on the edge of your seat waiting for it. I apologize. But I have a good excuse! We registered last night or at least started the registry. The Captain became a little overwhelmed with all the baby stuff and choices in Babies R' Us so we will be making a few more trips. Every time I stepped foot in that store to buy yet another baby shower gift I would cringe. This was a whole new experience for us and I loved it. I could finally walk through the store without dragging the giant boulder that followed me. It was like a dream imagining our son in his car seat, his stroller, is this the right pack n' play? The Captain did end up getting a little trigger happy with the scanner, there are several items of clothing and bibs that have some kind of "Dad" reference. So cute! I am pretty sure he scanned every size imaginable of a pack of onesies.

Has it really been 18 weeks since this leg of our journey began? Gosh time does fly when your having fun. These months are just going by way too fast. When we were trying the months were like an eternity with just another big fast disappointment in the end. Now a days they seem like a minute long and I know it gets worse once he is here. I mean he is already the size of a sweet potato!

Best Moment of the week: Finally being able to register for us and parking in Expectant Mother parking was pretty cool too.

Epiphany of the week: Taking a bath is a nice way to relax at the end of week and it gives me and Lil Captain some quality peace time.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I don't think I have one this week. Hmmm?

Obsessions: Waiting for a good kick. . .

What I am most looking forward to this week: My mom is taking me shopping for maternity clothes tonight. I am running out of pants quickly.

What I miss the most: This week I don't miss not being pregnant at all.

Symptoms: Same Ol' Same Ol'. I am pretty boring this week.

Milestones: Baby's become amazingly mobile (compared to you, at least), passing the hours yawning, hiccupping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking, and swallowing. And baby is finally big enough that you'll soon be able to feel her movements. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Baby names

2011-01-10T11:44:00.000-05:00

I thought we had it all figured out. Before we even knew what we were having the only name we could agree on was

Fischer James Pollard

for a boy. We never did decide on a girls name and here's hoping that we don't have to. But now The Captain is saying he doesn't want to put anything in writing just yet or tell anyone the name because he wants to tell everyone after the birth as sort of a welcome to the world. Which I totally agree with him on that but I want to be able to call this kid something besides "baby".

He wants to look at other names now too. He's afraid that it is too cliche that he loves fishing so we name our son Fischer. But I see it as naming him after something that is his passion, his other love. What do you think? Is it too corny? Please be honest with me, don't think you will hurt my feelings or anything. I love the name and I think it will fit our son perfectly because I know that as soon as he can walk he is going to have sea legs and take after his Daddy. Hopefully he won't get sea sick like his Mama.

Other names we are considering are Conor, Jackson or Hudson (not liking Hudson anymore).

17 weeks!

2011-01-06T16:01:00.000-05:00

Whoa, baby! You are now the size of an onion! This has been a busy week, hence why the update is a day late. Good news, my pillow arrived on Monday and it is AWESOME! So freaking comfortable but definitely needs a new stylish cover. I have had the best nights sleep the last few nights and I owe it all to my new pillow. If you are pregnant or not pregnant I still strongly suggest running out to the store right now and getting one.

Best Moment of the week: Feeling the baby move a lot now and knowing for a fact it is not gas. He definitely doesn't like it when I bend over to much and squish him.

Epiphany of the week: Keep yourself hydrated at all times.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My husband really noticed the bump getting bigger the other night and so sweetly said "whoa belly!"

Obsessions: Putting together our registry checklist. We are going next week to play with strollers and car seats.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Not baby related but getting my hair done. Oh man do I need it.

What I miss the most: I miss being able to wear anything out of my closet without thinking about it, now it is a great effort to find something that either A.) fits over my growing belly or B.) fit over my expanding chest.

Symptoms: The increased blood flow this week has starting making me getting bloody noses. I know. It's gross.

Milestones: Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. His umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes now feature one-of-a-kind prints. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

Popping popcorn

2011-01-05T10:39:00.000-05:00

I have a popcorn maker in my uterus.

I felt the strongest bubble popping sensation this morning in the shower that made me say "oh my GAH what was that?" I don't want to say that it hurt, per se, but just very obvious that it wasn't gas. I think I have actually been feeling the baby move for the last few weeks I just attributed it to being gas bubbles until it dawned on me that my stomach is not in my pelvis area. I can't wait to feel it more and more, I can't say it didn't bring a smile to my face.

We have our monthly checkup this afternoon and am not looking forward to what that scale says.

Crib bedding selected

2011-01-04T09:21:00.000-05:00

We decided to go with the one I loved the most. It will take about 4-6 weeks to be completed so that should give me plenty of time to get the closet completed & organized, the guest room furniture moved out and the walls painted. She is going to send me samples of each fabric so that I can use them to pick the rest of the room out.

The bed skirt will be the striped fabric with a strip of the blue & white polka dots on the bottom. The bumpers will have the bird fabric on one side and the Hawaiian flowers on the other with the stripe as the piping around the top. The rail ties will be the blue polka dot fabric as well. I can't wait to see how it all turns out!

A year in review

2010-12-31T14:25:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! While the first 3/4 of this year were incredibly hard and disappointing the last 1/4 has been a dream almost. I am still in awe every time I see my belly and remember "oh yeah I'm pregnant". I still feel like it is happening to someone else and I am watching from the sidelines. I'm sure once I get kicked in the ribs that will all change. This baby is such a miracle and a blessing, I can't wait for 2011 to begin since we will be meeting our son!

2010 in review:
January - Made the consultation appointment with an RE finally after almost 2 years of TTC with no results on our own.
February - Have an HSG done to see if that is the problem, nope tubes are clear. IUI #1 on Valentines Day.
March - BFN, have an SHG done with perfect results. IUI #2. Another BFN.
April - IUI #3, best sperm count so far. BFN again. Schedule a WTF appointment
May - IUI #4, last chance before considering IVF. BFN again.
June - Decide it is time to stop wasting our money and our time and move onto IVF.
July - Begin the IVF process of last remaining tests to be done, pay the deposit and be put on the waiting list for August.
August - IVF paid in full and waiting on AF to show to begin the Lupron protocol.
September - Hell month of shots, shots and more shots. Retrieved 18 eggs and 2 of the embryos were transfered back.
October - Saw two lines on the first of many pregnancy tests, seriously thought I was dreaming. Several beta draws later confirm that we are indeed pregnant. IVF was our miracle that we had been waiting for. The end of October we had our first ultrasound done and saw one little heart beating away.
November - No morning sickness as the last of the first trimester fades away. Hello second trimester.
December - What better way to end 2010 than finding out we are having a SON!

I pray that next year brings fulfillment and happiness to all of you! Happy New Year. See you in 2011.

16 weeks!

2010-12-29T09:20:00.000-05:00

This week the baby, whom shall now be known as “Lil Captain”, is the size of a large avocado and I can sure tell he has grown a lot this week. I have been having growing pains pretty bad the last week. My wonderful, amazing friend, Jenni, gave me a little shirt that says Captain on it yesterday. Now he can be just like his Daddy. By the way, The Captain absolutely loved it and picked up on it right away. Thank you so much! Check out Jenni’s website, she is the most talented graphic designer and invitation designer out there.

The Captain is the sweetest husband ever! He told me last night that he bought me something after doing some internet searches and it should be arriving in the mail any day now. After some poking and prodding I got it out of him.

A pregnancy pillow! I really wanted one for Christmas but I didn’t get it and he said when he came home the other night and came to give me a kiss in bed I had all the pillows around me and between my knees. I didn’t realize I had been doing that while sleeping but I have been getting uncomfortable at night since I can’t sleep on my back or tummy. I can’t wait until it gets here. I am going to sew a different cover though because the reviews said it wasn’t a high enough thread count.

Best Moment of the week: Most definitely, finding out we are having a son. I always said I didn’t want to find out the sex that I wanted it to be a surprise but actually finding out with our families there was way beyond what I expected. Such a treasured memory that I don’t think any of us will ever forget. I just wish my Dad could have been there.

Epiphany of the week: DO NOT step on the scale if you are not prepared for what you will see. Weight gain: I plead the fifth and blame it all on the holidays. I’ll just say I gained more in the last week than I have all pregnancy, yikes!

Entertaining question/comment of the week: Said by me “I have a penis inside me 24/7”.

Obsessions: The nursery design and registering. I am not sure when you are supposed to start a registry but I should probably go ahead and drag The Captain to BRU because I don’t think he has ever stepped foot in there. It might take a few trips to get it finalized, I have a feeling he will be very overwhelmed.

What I am most looking forward to this week: I want so badly to feel the baby move but I am worried that with having the anterior placenta it won’t be for a while.

What I miss the most: Wearing belts!

Symptoms: Besides some growing pains, nada!

Milestones: Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: Eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

This is not technically a 16 week belly shot since it was taken Christmas Day but I am not that much bigger since then. (poor quality cell phone shot)

Crib bedding?

2010-12-28T11:53:00.000-05:00

Ok ladies I need some more help. I knew this would happen, I would find out the sex and start designing the nursery right away. I have been putting together collages of things I like for awhile now for a modern, eclectic nursery but the crib bedding is bugging me. I am going with a custom crib set made from someone at Etsy. There are several different shops I am looking at. I do not like any of the sets from Target, BRU or any other on-line shop. I do not want a theme, for that I am sure. Just cool, modern things with a childish feel. There are 4 different ones I am looking at, weigh in on them in the comments section below.

Things you should know:

- The crib and dresser will be white

- I have a small fish tank The Captain got me for Christmas that has orange on it.

- I am slightly leaning toward #2 (maybe just not using the scooter fabric).

It's a. . .

2010-12-27T12:56:00.001-05:00

BOY!!

I don't know why but deep down I have known all along it was a boy. He was so cute today, totally showing off for everyone. The Captain, my Mom, his parents and sister were all there to see him. She turned the 3D on just to see what it would look like and he started smiling and laughing. ~~I will scan the pictures and post them as soon as I get home.~~ Duh I have the CD with me.

I highly recommend this place if anyone is in the area, it is called Look Who's Kickin'. It was the best ultrasound experience I have had yet. They accommodate up to 6 guests in the room and you watch the ultrasound on a huge plasma screen TV. They recorded a DVD of the whole thing for us set to music, I will cherish that forever! Our parents got such a kick out of watching him suck his fingers and kick me. She said my placenta is up front so it will be a little bit before I really start feeling him move. I will be watching the DVD again tonight I am sure.

It is so surreal to call him a him now instead of it. I don't think this grin is going to go away anytime soon!

Mouth wide open

Smiley baby

His Daddy's big feet

yep, it's a boy!

He is giving us a thumbs up!

Sex day

2010-12-26T18:11:00.000-05:00

In less than 20 hours we find out the sex of our baby! We go to the ultrasound place tomorrow at 11:00 am. I just pray that the baby is in the right position and it's legs aren't crossed!

Merry CHRISTmas!

2010-12-25T06:19:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

Good Morning! It is 5:50 on Christmas morning and I am wide awake. I don't know if the insomnia is back or I am just excited about Christmas but we didn't go to bed until 1:00 am and I can't go back to sleep.

I keep thinking about the sermon for Christmas Eve service last night and I must share what I took from it with you. It spoke to me very loudly last night. It was mostly about joy and that those who have lived in darkness have seen a great light.

"Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring to you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:9-11

Good tidings of joy. . . Joy should and can be in our hearts this Christmas; despite the pain, the suffering, the emptiness, and the loneliness that plagues us all around this time each year. Yes, this year is different for me, I am happy. But happiness is just happenstance it is not joy. Rejoice in that God sent us a savior because we, I, need to be saved! Saved from the wanting, and the jealousy, and the sinning. I feel guilty that I did not stop and fully appreciate the meaning of Christmas the last few years and why? Because I thought I could only find joy if I celebrated Christmas by getting a BFP or rubbing my pregnant belly? Jealousy and despair consumed me so much that I forgot to rejoice in the fact that there is a great light shining down on me. I would know good tidings of joy because God gave his only begotten Son to save me and that he did.

It is my Christmas wish that you find joy this holy-day season for God will answer your prayers. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I love you all.

15 weeks!

2010-12-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

Is Christmas really in 3 days? It seems so hard to believe another year has gone by. This is the first Christmas in several years I am actually happy about. The last 3 Christmas' have been so miserable from being infertile to my parents divorce, I am looking forward to this one. Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!

Best Moment of the week: Receiving Christmas presents in the mail addressed to “little Pollard” from our friends who have been waiting as long as we have for us to have a child.

Epiphany of the week: When you eat asparagus it makes your pee smell and not in a good way.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: This one is from The Captain “please warn me next time you have gas”. *blush*

Obsessions: The nursery! I can’t wait to find out the sex to finalize the nursery. It will be pretty much gender neutral anyway but there are a few touches that need to be finalized. I promise a post about the nursery will be coming. I am starting to collect gifts from friends already and have nowhere to put anything, it is getting me excited.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Christmas with family and giving our Mom’s their Christmas present from the baby. I went to Build-a-Bear and put the recording of the baby’s heartbeat into each bear.

What I miss the most: It seems every week what I miss the most is food. I really missed having goat cheese this week and why is it always cheese I miss the most? Trust me I miss nothing physically about not being pregnant, I love being pregnant! But the cheese. . .

Symptoms: oh the gas! I have also noticed this week that my gums are more tender and bleed when I floss each night, thanks hormones.

Milestones: Continuing the march toward normal proportions, baby's legs now out-measure his arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably can't feel the movements just yet.

"It's a Wonderful Life"

2010-12-20T09:20:00.000-05:00

That is my all time favorite Christmas movie. Every year it is tradition for me and my parents to go to the historic Tampa Theater and watch the movie. For the past two years it has just been me and my Mom since she can't stand to be around my Dad. Which makes me feel guilty because it is his favorite Christmas movie too. Anyway we went yesterday to see the movie and I brought along my best friend, she absolutely LOVED it. She had never been to that theater or seen the movie. Which is a sin in itself.

After the movie we went back to my Mom's apartment and had white chicken chili that had been cooking in the crockpot all day. It was so yummy! I cannot wait until next year when I bring peanut along and start the tradition all over again with a new recruit.

I just love Zuzu! She is the most adorable little girl. "Look Daddy, teacher says every time a bell rings an Angel gets his wings"

14 weeks!

2010-12-15T11:56:00.000-05:00

How in the world have I made it to 14 weeks already? I swear that just yesterday I was going in for our embryo transfer. Time sure is flying by. The baby is the size of a lemon this week and growing like crazy. Our adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine, and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys, and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over her/his body for warmth.

We did go ahead and call the Ultrasound place and we have an appointment December 27^th. I will be so close to 16 weeks that it should be pretty accurate. We decided that either way we get to see the baby one extra time that is always a plus. If we go and it’s like “Hey, look at my penis” then we will tell people the gender. If it is questionable then we will wait until the 20 week scan. We decided to invite our parents to the ultrasound as part of their Christmas gift too, to see the baby instead of just by pictures.

Best Moment of the week: Getting a FREE pre-natal massage this week. It was heaven. I died. The massage school by my house wer offering them.

Epiphany of the week: I have to pee all the time now so know where all the restrooms are on any outings at all times.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: We receive a big tin of butter cookies at work for a Christmas present. Score! So I happened to grab a few and got made fun of then another co-worker grabbed some and they all said "well, it's expected" and I said "yeah well I'm expecting".

Obsessions: Still obsessing over my little baby bump. I can now start to feel what is hard (uterus) and what is still soft (bloat). My uterus is definitely getting bigger by the day.

What I am most looking forward to this week: I am looking forward to finishing off the tin of cookies.

What I miss the most: I really, really miss feta cheese this week. We went to Bonefish last night and my favorite appetizer is Saucy Shrimp and I didn't get it because I would have been too tempted to eat the feta.

Symptoms: Headaches! I have gotten an aching headache every evening for the past week. My midwife said for some reason they are very common between 13 and 15 weeks so here's to hoping they are gone next week.

Milestones: I did end up making it through the whole night last night without getting up to go pee. That's a huge milestone for me. I hope it lasts.

Cloth Diapering

2010-12-12T13:03:00.000-05:00

Me: "I plan on cloth diapering our baby"

Friend or family member: "oh, really? How do you pin the diapers? That's gross" etc, etc, etc...

After all the technological, scientific and health advances over the last 30 years why do people still think cloth diapering means prefold diapers with safety pins? They really think that industry has stood still with no advancement whatsoever. I am getting really aggravated by peoples remarks when I tell them we are going to cloth diaper. The only person supportive is my good friend who is now cloth diapering her baby girl and absolutely loves it. I think my Mom is coming around after we babysat the other night and after she changed the diaper she told me they were really neat and so easy.

The Captain and I decided we would cloth diaper for many reasons, economic, environmental and just better all around for our baby's bottom. I think I am going to need to start arming myself with arguments for peoples comments. Any advice?

Ultrasound places

2010-12-08T14:55:00.000-05:00

I can not stop thinking about having to wait another 8 weeks or so before we find out the sex of the baby or see the baby again. I have been doing some research about local ultrasound places and there is one 5 minutes from my office that offers a gender determination ultrasound for $89. I would love, love, love to find out before Christmas to tell our parents. What do you guys think? Would you do that or did you do something similar? I think $89 is totally worth it, they also have these huge rooms with sofas to accommodate 6 people to watch the ultrasound, should have our parents go the appointment with us to all find out together. That would make a pretty cool Christmas present, huh?

13 weeks!

2010-12-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

Hello second trimester, nice to meet you! Only 189 days to go until we meet our baby. That does not seem like a lot of time left to get things done. I thought I would wait until after the holidays before I really started doing anything but now I am not so sure that is a good idea.

Baby is now the size of a peach! Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords...savor this, their nonfunctional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with his head now only one third the size of his body. And intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy -- much more convenient.

Best Moment of the week: Making it to the second trimester and realizing there are less than 200 days left to go.

Epiphany of the week: Do not stand up too quickly or you will get a sharp pain in the side. This is all from the round ligament pains. I have been feeling a lot of growing pains the last week.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: The Captain thinks it's entertaining to remind me how many cookies I eat in one sitting :) but hey I haven't gained any weight so I think I am allowed to have a few.

Obsessions: I can't stop looking at our last ultrasound picture, it is just too sweet.

What I am most looking forward to this week: My check-up on Friday. I can't wait to finally hear the heartbeat on the doppler. I am going to record it since The Captain has to miss this appointment, he has been so awesome about making every single appointment.

What I miss the most: Nothing this week, I am happy to be sober and wearing pants with elastic waists.

Symptoms: Round ligament pains, yikes! and of course going to the bathroom constantly.

Milestones:The baby is forming teeth and vocal cords. The better to bite your nipples and scream in the middle of the night with, my dear.

Christmas Card 2010

2010-12-05T16:16:00.000-05:00

Here's the Christmas card we will be sending out this year. We took the pictures this morning. I think it turned out great.

NT scan today

2010-12-02T11:55:00.000-05:00

We had the best appointment today! We saw the baby for nearly a half hour this morning during the NT scan. It was quite a little jumping bean every time the Sonographer would press down with the wand. The baby would waves its hands and feet as if to say Hi Mom, Hi Dad! We got some really great profile shots where you can see the most perfect plump lips and little button nose.

Stats

Length: 63 mm (2 1/2 inches) long

Measuring: 12 weeks 5 days

Heart Rate: 159 BPM

12 weeks!

2010-11-29T12:46:00.024-05:00

We made it to 12 weeks already, I can't believe it. At the end of this week we will be in the second trimester! Maybe, just maybe, some of the worries will start to cease. Our little peanut is now the size of a plum. Can I still call it a peanut then? The peanut is shifting into the growth and maturation stage after being in the critical development stage for weeks. Almost all of it's systems are fully formed now.

Best Moment of the week: Buying maternity jeans! I went the the outlet mall with some girlfriends over the weekend and they had a Motherhood Maternity store. I got one pair of skinny jeans and one regular boot cut pair. I can't wait to start wearing them on a regular basis.

Epiphany of the week: Popcorn with Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top is a really delicious snack! Try it, I am begging you. Try it.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I was looking up the meaning of our last name, Pollard, and it turns out one of the meanings is "remarkable head", aka large head, aka holy crap, aka this is going to hurt. By the way the Captain does have a rather large head. Please, baby take after me.

Obsessions: Not really a pregnancy obsession but I love Christmas time so this week is spent obsessing over decorating the house for Christmas and taking our Christmas picture for our Christmas cards.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Our NT scan tomorrow morning. We will get to see the peanut for an extended period of time tomorrow morning. I hope we get to hear the heartbeat again too.

What I miss the most: I don't miss, waiting for my period, buying tampons, being disappointed every single day, needles, medications and being told to just relax.

Symptoms: I think I am starting to feel round ligament pain. I keep getting sharp pains in my pelvic area if I do a lot of an activity or move a certain way. My bump hasn't really gotten any bigger than last week except that it is there 24/7 now, not just in the evening.

Milestones: Making it to 12 weeks, duh! Moving into the second trimester.

A Thankful Day

2010-11-25T11:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone eats their weight in turkey, green bean casserole, stuffing and mashed potatoes today. I know I am going to. We have a lot to be thankful for this year but I am most thankful to Dr. Robert Edwards who devised the fertility treatment, IVF. Without him I am sure I would not be pregnant right now and my husband and I would still be longing for a baby. I pray everyday that those still waiting for their miracle receive it soon.

I am thankful for my husband, our dogs and of course the little peanut growing inside me. This is our first holiday as a little family and couldn't be happier.

I am thankful for all of you. Without your support and encouraging words I would be lost. Most days I did not even want to get out of bed in the morning but then I would see a comment from one of you and I knew things would be better. Your friendships mean the world to me and I cherish each and every one of them. Thank you.

Oh yeah and one more thing. . .I am most thankful that I am not a turkey :)

11 weeks!

2010-11-24T08:41:00.007-05:00

I decided I need to start organizing my updates a little better since I am coming out of my pregnancy brain induced fog. I am thinking a lot clearer these days. No more milk in the pantry instead of the fridge fiascoes. I am taking a cue from some other ladies about how to organize my weekly update feelings/thoughts.

11 weeks! Holy freaking cow! I can't believe we are here already. It is going by way too fast and not fast enough at the same time. Our little peanut is now the size of a lime. He also no longer has webbed hands and feet! Our little peanut should be able to open and close his fists and is moving around quite a bit in his roomy womb; even though I won't get to feel him for quite some time.

Best moment of the week: Honestly it's being able to come off of the progesterone. No more meds! And no more shoving things up my lady chute every morning. Hallelujah!

Epiphany of the week: "I'm pregnant so let me have the last bowl of ice cream" ok not really an epiphany but I really wanted the ice cream.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My hard drive went kaput yesterday at work and my boss's wife was trying to be helpful (insert sarcasm) and she says to me "Maybe it just doesn't like pregnant women" huh?

Obsessions?: Belly photos and wondering if I am just really bloated all the time or if this is the beginning of a baby bump?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Thanksgiving! I get to eat, eat and eat some more and no one can say anything because they are all doing the same thing.

What I miss the most: I have to say that so far I really miss red wine. There is something about getting together with your girlfriends drinking wine and chatting. I used to love having a glass of wine and take a hot bath while reading a good book at the same time.

Symptoms: Still nothing too drastic; the bloating, peeing more often and the sleepiness. But I think the tiredness is easing up because I actually stayed awake past 10:00 all week. Go me!

Milestones: Baby is now the proud new owner of non-webbed fingers and toes. Yay for not being a fish with a tail anymore! And now his little legs are kicking like mad to match his movable arms. Of course, I won't be able to feel this for some time but it's pretty sweet to think the baby is mobile now.