25 weeks - whoo hoo

I can tell now that I am getting bigger every day not just on a weekly basis. On a positive note, the swelling in my feet and ankles has gone away, for now. I think drinking a ton of water and elevating my feet at work and at home has helped. I am hoping it was a fluke. I have my 25 week appointment this afternoon so I will speak to my midwife about it.

New windows on our house are being installed as I type this. I can't wait to get home and see the transformation. We had old crank style windows before that over half of the windows lost their crank and didn't have screens. So we couldn't have the windows open when the weather was nice out. Not anymore!

It has been 3 days since starting the Hypnobabies daily practice and I am loving it. I am a little worried about the fact that I can't make it through a whole CD without seeming to fall asleep. Maybe I am just that deep into a hypnotic state because I will wake up and the CD is done playing. My subconscious should still be receiving the messages though. It has definitely already changed my thinking on birthing my baby. I am excited about it, not scared in anyway. It trains you to think that you will have an easy and fast labor, no negative thoughts in this household. I am so relaxed even at work now, it's amazing.

Enough about me, let's talk about the baby. Only 3 more weeks until I am in the third trimester, it doesn't seem possible.

Best Moment of the week: Putting the crib together and seeing nursery start to unfold. I love walking there and imagining what it will be like when he is here.

Epiphany of the week: Elevate your feet to de-swell your feet.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My bosses wife said to me "you look really pregnant today". Ummm did she just call me fat?

Obsessions: Practicing my Hypnobabies and trying to relax.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Washing more baby clothes I have received and organizing the dresser.

What I miss the most: Nothing I am loving pregnancy this week.

Symptoms: Back aches, pressure when I lay on my back now, boobs are still growing and still getting acid reflux.

Milestones: That oh-so-handy sense of equilibrium is kicking in, and baby's learning to distinguish right side up from upside down. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

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Nursery progress

Furniture delivered - check


Crib assembled - check


Bedding arriving any day - check


Bookcase stocked with books - check


It's coming along. . .

The furniture wasn't in the room 5 minutes and The Captain had to open the chest of drawers. We still hadn't painted the room yet, as you can see it is a light blue color.

Here's the Captain assembling the crib. I supervised. I'm a good supervisor.


The walls are now painted a pale gray color not to contrast with the bright colors of the bedding.

The almost finished product. I can't wait until it is done and we have our son in there.

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Sausage toes

Ack! 

My feet and ankles are so swollen! I noticed it last night and asked the Captain if he thought so too and indeed they are swollen. I don't know what to do besides propping my feet up and drinking a ton of water. I really pray that I am not stuck with sausage toes for the next 4 months. Even my flip flops were tight this morning, I can't go barefoot the rest of this pregnancy. Help!

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Considering HypnoBabies

Hypnobabies is a complete childbirth education course that also teaches Gerald Kein's famous Painless Childbirth techniques to Hypnobabies mothers so that they can enter hypnosis, deepen it themselves and remain mobile during labor, completely comfortable at all times. Most Hypno-babies have no drugs in their systems when they are born, and are able to nurse, breathe well and interact with their happy parents immediately. 

Every HypnoBabies birth story I read sounds so amazing and “pain” free. They use the word “pain-free” but I don’t think birthing a baby will be "painless". People assume that means not feeling anything-that the "hypno-anesthesia" would be like an epidural and make the body numb. It doesn't work this way. Hypno-anesthesia is very strong endorphins. It's like when you cut yourself or you twist your ankle and at first it hurts a lot, but then it doesn't hurt as much, that's endorphins. They soothe and dull pain, but they don't take away sensation. With a pain-free unmedicated birth with hypnosis, you would still feel your baby being born; it just wouldn't feel like pain to you. HypnoBabies changes some words to get rid of the fear and negative connotations like the words pain and contraction. The word “pain” is changed to “discomfort” and the word “contraction” is changed to “pressure waves”.  

It’s not that I want to be hardcore and birth my baby natural but I am more afraid of the standard approach to a hospital birth than I am about giving birth. I am terrified of having interventions and ending up with an emergency Caesarian. Too many moms I know had that exact experience. 

I have not been able to find a bad HypnoBabies experience on the internet, they are all amazingly positive birth stories. I cannot wait to start doing the home study course and listening to the cd’s and affirmations. I have already started reading the HypnoBirthing, The Mongan Method, book and listening to its cd for the past week and I am instantly relaxed. It takes me about 5 minutes and I am in the deepest relaxation, I could fall asleep and sometimes do.

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24 weeks - 6 months

We have reached the viability mark. At 24 weeks Doctors will take measures to save the baby or stop labor if I went into labor early. A little bit of relief is washing over me. I ordered the Hypno-babies home study program and cd's that I can't wait to start listening to. I think this is worth a whole post on it's own but I am excited to start the hypno-birthing lessons. The Captain and I want a completely natural birth experience and decided this was our best choice. If you have experience with Hypno-birthing I would love to hear it.

The baby is still the size of a papaya this week, next week we change vegetables.

Best Moment of the week: The baby finally gave the Captain what he wanted, a kick of his very own.

Epiphany of the week: A lot of walking in the day, i.e. sight seeing, makes you feel like you have to pee that more often.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I don't think I have one this week.

Obsessions: The baby shower! I have two showers coming up, one in my home town and one here. I am getting asked a million questions that I need to start getting them answers too. Plus a guest list.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Going to Joann Fabrics to get what I need to make a sling carrier and a high chair cover for my high chair when I was a baby.

What I miss the most: Being able to stand up and put on pants. I must sit now or fear toppling over.

Symptoms: Back pain arrived this week, it doesn't really hurt per se but more of a tired ache all day long.

Milestones: Baby's skin is becoming more opaque as the fat starts to pack on. And, thanks to the formation of small capillaries, his newly thick skin is taking on a fresh pink glow. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

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Back from our BabyMoon

We made it back last night after several flight delays. On Friday our flight was delayed 6 hours! Yes, you read that correctly 6 hours, due to maintenance problems. After the 2nd hour they finally started re-routing people to different planes or different airlines. We ended up having to go all the way to New York then back down to DC but we made it, even though we lost half a day of our trip. We ended up having a fantastic time regardless.

Spending time with my sister is so priceless and we sucked up every last minute together. The Captain was amazed with the White House and all the monuments. It was cold, really cold but so much fun. I will post some pictures as soon as I get them down loaded. Except the ones from Sunday night. Have you seen the movie The Hangover? You know at the end of the movie they look at the pictures from the night before to find out what happened. Well they all got to see what they did because I kept taking pictures all night since I was the only sober one. It was hilarious watching them look at the pictures Monday morning. Let's just say there was dancing at the bar with metal takeout tins, a birthday cake fight when we got back to the apartment and drunken wrestling. Do you have any idea what it is like being out with 4 drunk people in a city you don't know how to get around and have to drive? Not fun that's all I have to say.

The best thing of all that happened was The Captain felt the baby kick for the first time! He was so cute and his expression was priceless. Except now the baby will be kicking up a storm and as soon as he puts his hand there he stops, he could have it there for 20 minutes and not a peep. It's like he knows somehow.

As soon as we got home last night we put the crib together! The room is complete with furniture but still missing the essentials. I can't wait to show you pictures. All we need now is the bedding to come in, the rest of the decor and a baby.

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Happy Birthday to me and my sister!

Today my sister and I turn 29. Eek! 

At least it's not 30. Yet. 

I woke up to a beautiful card from The Captain and some Combos. I have been craving Combos for weeks now. I can't wait to see my sister on Friday, we are heading to DC until Monday. She hasn't seen me since I was 10 weeks pregnant so she will be in for a shock.

Now excuse me while I go and try and find some birthday cake to eat. . .

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22 weeks

Despite The Captains best effort not to get me sick, I am in fact sick as a dog. Bleh! I stayed home from work yesterday because I felt horrible and I knew the baby and I would need all the rest we could get in order to beat this thing. I am pretty sure it is just a chest cold and I am feeling much better today, thankfully. All the resting did some good because I felt some kicks yesterday on my hand! I felt them once before about a week but this time I am sure it was him kicking me. That was the most incredible feeling. I would laugh and say "do it again" and he would kick me again. I so wish The Captain had been home to feel it too. He is already growing up way too fast. 

He is our little Papaya this week. I don't know where they come up with these fruit and vegetable sizes but they are amusing. I am noticing more and more his sleep pattern lately. He is awake from 3:00 am - 4:00 am every morning then again from 8-9am. Snoozes until around 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon and then up again from 7:00 - 9:00 at night. The cycles repeats the next day. 

Best Moment of the week: Feeling him kick my hand by far.

Epiphany of the week: Little sleep makes for one cranky Momma.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I don't think I have one this week.

Obsessions: Trying to find big enough warm clothes for my trip to D.C. next weekend, to see my sister. This will be our Babymoon too.

What I am most looking forward to this week: A pedicure tonight. Divine.

What I miss the most: Being able to stand up and put on pants. I must sit now or fear toppling over.

Symptoms: oh, the boob pain! My boobs have been sore before but this is just down right painful. I think they are starting to make colostrum.

Milestones: Baby's settling into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

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21 weeks w/ belly pics

 I just want to say thank you to all of your encouraging words from my previous post. You all know exactly how to make me feel completely normal and not alone. One of the main reasons why I started blogging.

This week has been crazy busy so I haven't had time to do my usual update but I wanted to at least up date you on our visit with our midwife on Wednesday.  We went over the sonogram from last week and I asked her to give me some of his measurements. She said he is measuring perfectly normal and everything looked really good on the sonogram. He was measuring 5 days ahead the measurements say my due date would be June 9th. I don't hold too much stock in this because he will fluctuate on his growth from here on out. But he is a healthy little boy! Now keep in mind these measurements were from 11 days ago so he is a little bit bigger by now:

 
Weight: 13 oz 
Head: 18 cm circumference 
Femur: 3 cm long 
 
It is hard to believe when I remember back to when he was just a

little gummy bear.

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Once "when" became "if"

My husband and I were the couple that so naively thought that we would get pregnant as soon as the condoms went out the window. We would sit in bed at night and think about all the things we would do “when” we got pregnant. When I got pregnant…we wouldn’t be able to go to Costa Rica as often or when I got pregnant we were going to use the Pottery Barn gift cards at Pottery Barn Kids instead of on drapes. Eventually “when” turned into “if”, we have visited Costa Rica three times since then and we have drapes on our living room windows.  Going from “when” to “if” was incredibly painful. Hope slowly slipped away as each month and year passed us by. 

I know IVF doesn’t work for everyone, even after several tries, and we are very lucky; especially since we have no frozen embryos to fall back on. Now that I am pregnant and there is no more “when” or “if” I can’t say that I am fully healed from that pain. Truthfully I don’t think I ever will be. 

That pain is keeping me from connecting with this pregnancy a hundred percent. That is not something I like to admit but I feel the need to be honest with myself.  I know I am pregnant but I still can’t conceive that there is a baby, our son, at the end of this. Is that wrong?  I try and do everything the books tell me to do, I rub my belly, I sing and read to the baby but I am still waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us. The nursery furniture is finally in our guest room, which I have to stop calling it that it is now our son’s bedroom, I have dreamed so many times of a nursery but I can’t help but think to myself “I hope there’s a return policy”. I hate infertility for making this less enjoyable than it is supposed to be.

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