Where is my Ace?

IUI #2 is a failure too. I knew it. Deep down I knew it the whole month. I want to think positively but I don't know how anymore.

In the high stakes game of trying to conceive I have a hand full of jokers. Why do other women get dealt Aces left and right and we are stuck with the Joker? Will I ever hold a winning hand?

I follow several infertility blogs and I made the mistake of checking out other blogs fellow infertiles follow. . .90% of them are pregnant now. That should give me hope but it doesn't, it makes me more upset that it seems to happen for everyone but us. I will be a great mother and The Captain will be a wonderful father so what's the hold up.

Either three strikes your out or third times a charm . . .

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11 dpIUI

I just looked at my chart and realized I am 11 dpIUI already. I feel nothing, no excitement, no pms symptoms, no sadness, just nothing. I am neutral.

This is the first month that The Captain and I haven't even talked about 2 ww signs/symptoms. In fact he asked me last night when we test and I told him this weekend, he couldn't believe a week already flew by. Me either. I don't feel pregnant. I don't think I am pregnant. I am just waiting for the next cycle like always.

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. . .some splaining to do

Last night The Captain and I had a fight.

Last night The Captain and I had a sort of fight.

Last night The Captain and I had a spat. 

Who is The Captain? Why did we have a spat? Funny you should ask because The Captain would like to not be blogged about. Last night I was talk to said Captain about a blogging friends and mentioned one girls husband and he said "You don't blog about me, do you?". Me, "Well occasionally you come up but I try not to say your name I call you husband, hubs, of DH (dear husband)". Oh boy that wasn't good enough. He must not be blogged about. We came to a compromise and from here on out my husband will now be referred to as The Captain. It appears he thinks one of his friends will stumble across my blog and know all his, uh how do I put this, man juice issues. Right, cause I am sure that his guy friends spend their time Googling infertility blogs. He won't even sign up for Face.book because he is so modest.

Maybe I should draw up a contract that would read:

This Contract is made and entered into by and between Jim, hereinafter referred to as "The Captain", and the below named blogger, hereinafter referred to as "Crazy Infertile".

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IUI #2 tomorrow

At 8:00 am! The Hubs is not going to be happy about this. He will not get home from work until after midnight and then we will have to leave the house by 7:15 am. We can collect at home and drive it there but I am pretty sure he will not want to get up extra early to put his man juice into a plastic cup. I am so excited I am shaking right now. Now another agonizingly long two weeks are ahead of me, again. . .

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Saline Sonogram results

Sorry I didn't get to post yesterday the antibiotics they gave me made me so sick. I even had to leave work yesterday because I thought I was going to be sick. Anyway I made it to the appointment anyway and the results were fantastic. Actually that is what Dr. T said, his exact words "Wow your uterus looks fantastic! I wish all our patients uterus' looked like this. You can definitely hold some babies in there."

Me, "you mean at the same time?"

Dr.T "if that is what you want then yeah, you can hold more than one at one time."

Me, "uh thanks but no thanks" LOL

Glad we got good news but sad for DH because this just confirms that the only reason we are not getting pregnant his solely on him. I NEVER make him feel that way, I have never said to him that it was his fault or anything remotely close to that I just know this has to be weighing on him. What can I do?

His count for our last IUI was 28 million, that is fantastic and still no baby. Why? I struggle with that question everyday as I know all infertiles do. 

We are clear to do the second IUI and as soon as I get my surge we can go in the next day. I am hoping it happens this weekend.

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We are getting a credit

I just heard back from Dr.T's office manager and Dr.T told them to credit us the first IUI. Whew! So we are getting that money back which will help pay for the next cycle and the ultrasound I need done on Monday. Thank God they realized they dropped the ball and we suffered. Maybe there is hope for them after all. LOL. My appointment is Monday at 11:00 and I will update you as soon as I know anything.

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Blood test result -

NEGATIVE! I knew it, it's ok I was prepared. I just wish she would hurry up and get here so we can start next cycle already.

One thing the nurse told me was that now they want me to come in for a Saline Ultrasound of my uterus. I will have to do some research on this, it will cost $200 out of pocket because of my stupid insurance. She did say it was not nearly as painful as the HSG, thank God. I would not do that again. The Nurse said that notation was put in there the day of my HSG I really wish someone would have called and told me that then, did we just waste a cycle? I am kind of pissed right now.

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O' where, O' where is my period?

Aunt Flo is a no show. I expected her Sunday but my temps stayed up, then they went up again yesterday no Aunt Flo. Ok, so this morning I just knew my temp was going to nose dive and she would come, since I had a bit of spotting yesterday. It only dropped a tenth of a degree, no Aunt Flo. Where could she be?

I went in yesterday to have a Beta drawn to check my HCG levels and they said they wouldn't have the results until this morning. I have called twice already and keep getting the nurses voice mail. I don't want to be nagging but COME ON!!! Tell me the results already I AM DYING HERE!

I am 16 dpo today and I have only had one other cycle in the 22 months that has been over 14 dpo. As of right now I am still expecting the witch to show until contrary belief and no I will not be peeing on any sticks again until it is confirmed with blood work. Until then waiting, waiting, waiting . . .

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