Thursday, July 7, 2011

Fischer's birth story - Part III

I need to get an epidural…”

No one was more shocked than me to hear those words leave my mouth. My nurse’s jaw dropped to the floor when I said that, but it was true I needed to sleep. Jimmy and I discussed it and did not want to take a narcotic to get me to sleep. I couldn’t be certain that my body would respond well to the narcotics. I had heard horror stories from other moms.

Once the anesthesiologist got there I began to get a little nervous in my decision but knew it was the best decision for me and for Fischer. We both needed to rest. It turns out that getting the epidural was a very smart move when it came time to push. I was able to get a few hours of sleep and woke up refreshed and excited to continue this part of our journey. I think Jimmy was more relieved to sleep than me because five minutes after lying down he was sawing logs. The epidural made me so itchy that was the one thing I did not like about it. The adrenaline was still pumping and making me shake uncontrollably.

My midwife came back in at 6:00 am, since I was now awake, to check me before her shift ended. I should mention that for the last 12 hours I was the only woman in labor on the floor so every one was very attentive and supportive of anything I needed and they were all anticipating Fischer’s arrival and learning his name. I had only progressed to 6 cm, so much for relaxing to help speed things up. So I thought…

My midwife was so sad that her shift was ending and she wouldn’t be present for his birth. She promised to call in and check on me through out the day and to come meet Fischer the next day when she was back on. One of the other midwives in our practice came in at 8:15 am to see how I was doing and to see if I was any more dilated. We were lucky to get both midwives we fell in love with through out our prenatal check ups. We were all astonished to find out I was 9 cm! I went from 6 to 9 in two hours! The epidural was working after all. She said she was going to let me labor him down for a little while and to call her when I felt a ton of pressure in my bottom, that would mean I was ready to push. I was very pleased with the fact that even though I had the epidural I was still able to move my legs and turn from side to side and feel the pressure of each wave.

I texted my family that they could all come up and give us one last kiss before I start pushing. I was told after the fact that my Mom had left to go let her dog out when they called and told her I was at 9 cm; Fischer was at +1 station and would be pushing soon. Poor puppy, she didn’t know it would be another 4 hours before Fischer was actually born.

At 10:30 am I wake up Jimmy, yes he is still sound asleep, to go get the midwife I am ready to push. She comes in to check and me and sure enough his head is right there, maybe an inch from crowning. They start setting everything up and I look at Jimmy, he is looking out the window and won’t look at me.

I ask him “Are you nervous? Why won’t you look at me?”

He turns around and there are tears in his eyes and he says, “I am more excited than anything, this is it, what we have been waiting for”.  

I lost it right there and started crying too.  I can’t believe I was about to meet my son, our son for the first time. It was not just a dream after all.
She puts her fingers in me and asks me to push so she can see how well I can push. She is amazed at how well I can push on my first attempt. She assures me to do everything I just did every time I feel a wave coming on. Fischer is right there and should be coming out really soon. I turn on my side to do side lying pushing. This was the best position for me and where I was able to get the most power out of each push. Jimmy held my leg up for me every time. After about two hours and my midwife telling me again over and over “He is right there, it won’t be long now” I was starting to doubt if I could keep doing this. Something is wrong, he is taking way too long. I don’t know at what point Jimmy decided to start looking down there but I am glad he did cause he was so encouraging through each wave. My midwife could see I was getting discouraged and decided to wheel in the mirror to give me some motivation. I can’t even describe the feeling of watching my son’s head crown through each push and then go right back in again. It made what I was doing so real. It was time to try changing positions so we brought up the squat bar for a little while. No change, he would crown and go right back in. I think at the 3 hour mark, 1:30 pm, of pushing the Dr. came in prepared to do a vacuum extraction. She wouldn’t do it though since he wasn’t in distress. His heart rate was still cool as a cucumber. The nurses and Dr. were amazed that he was so calm. The Dr. stayed for a while because she had never witnessed and side lying birth before and wanted to be there for the delivery. This reassured me of our decision to go with a midwife since they know how to birth babies. My midwife was great at stretching my perineum through each push and to put hot/wet compresses on me when I was resting.

The hypnosis worked between waves because I was able to tune everyone out and I even dozed off a few times and woke up to push again. Pushing was an amazing experience. I don’t know what came over me but through each push I sounded like an Amazon woman grunting and making some pretty primal sounds. It felt so good to make those sounds through each push and gave me so much more power behind them. I literally breathed the baby down just like HypnoBabies teaches you by exhaling through each push and not holding my breath. I could hear the nurses and midwife whispering that they had never seen someone push like that and couldn’t believe how well it was working. Even though I had been pushing for almost 4 hours now I was still able to give 4 or 5 good pushes with each wave.

It is now 2:30 pm and the Dr. decides to use the vacuum to get him out. Even though he isn’t in distress I am starting to lose my cool a bit. She tries 3 times but his head is just not going to come. Jimmy said that was the hardest thing to watch and will never get that image out of his mind. I decide this is it I am giving it my all and I am not going to stop pushing until he is out. Finally his head comes through. One more push and the rest of him is here! He was born at 2:51 pm, June 11, 2011.

When they placed him on my chest I couldn’t help but cry happy tears. It was the single most amazing moment of my life so far. He let out a little “eh” and that was it. His eyes locked on mine and we just cuddled for hours. Jimmy did end up cutting the umbilical cord and was shooting video and taking still photos at the same time. He was one proud Papa. My midwife explained that his head was turned to the side, looking over his right shoulder and that was why it was so hard to push his head through. There was no way to tell until he was delivered. This is why I was thankful for the epidural. There is no physical way I could have done that without one. I had a very small tear that required two little stitches. Everyone, including myself, was astonished that I didn’t completely tear or need an episiotomy.

His birth was long and a lot of hard work but completely worth it. I strongly feel I could not have made it that long without the use of my hypnosis cues and Jimmy as my coach. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I got Fischer at the end. Being a mom is so much more than I ever imagined. He is the best baby and so loving. 


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Fischer's Birth Story - Part II

“You are doing great! If this is what we need to meet Fischer then you can do it. I know this wasn’t in the plans but you can get through this.”

He really stepped up and was being am amazing coach. It is now 4:45 pm and my midwife decides to check me before starting the Pit. I am still 2 cm dilated. Here comes the IV. . .

Once the Pit was started we could no longer be intermittently monitored so there I was on a leash, so to speak. Before the IV I only had to be monitored for 15 minutes every hour and was free to roam where I pleased. The fetal monitor would not stay put because my belly was so round that it would roll off every time I moved. The Pit started to kick in about a half hour after starting the IV and the waves were feeling more productive already. Jimmy was great at getting me on the birthing ball and putting counter pressure on my back. The thing that felt the best was when the nurses would microwave my rice sock and place that on my lower back. During this phase of labor my favorite position was to stand up and lean into Jimmy and sway my hips back and forth. It was amazing that when I would feel a wave coming on my light switch would instantly be turned to the off position and I moved my anesthesia to where I needed it. My Hypnobabies training was working without even thinking about it.

I must say it was quite a chore to go to the bathroom since Jimmy would have to disconnect the monitors, put the IV on battery power and gather up all the cords to roll me into the bathroom. He had to stand there in the doorway helpless when  a wave would hit while I was trying to pee.

At 8:30 pm my midwife came back in to check me, since the Pit had several hours to start working. I had progressed to 3 cm and 70% effaced now. She also realized that it was my hind waters that were leaking and that my bag hadn’t completely broken. This could be the reason things are going so slowly. We kept up the birthing ball positions, nipple stimulation and reflexology to keep things going.  Jimmy and I were both losing hope that he was going to be born on June 10, 2011 and it was looking more and more like we would be at this the next day too. Our poor parents and siblings down in the waiting room were refusing to go home and kept bugging Jimmy for information that we just didn’t have. All we could say was “things are progressing”.  I know that wasn’t what they wanted to hear but it was all we had.
Hours go by with waves coming every 2-3 minutes lasting sometimes a minute. I keep saying to myself through each wave “open, open, open”. It is now 11:00 pm, the 18-hour mark. My midwife informs me that we now have to start antibiotics since it has been 18 hours from when my water broke. I have now made it to 4 cm and 80% effaced. Jimmy and I discussed it and decided she should break my fore-waters to get him engaged. That made adrenaline start pumping through my body causing me to shake uncontrollably. That was the weirdest feeling. It was making standing through the pressure waves much more difficult. My body was starting to get really exhausted from being up for almost 24 hours.

It is now 3:00 am, Saturday morning and my midwife comes to check me again. Yes, I made it to 5 cm already and 100% effaced. I haven’t even made it to active phase yet. At this point I am seriously thinking that I will be pregnant forever and he just doesn’t want to come out. Fischer’s heart rate is still cool and collected; he is handling the waves and the Pit very well. I am incredibly exhausted now and my body just won’t stand up anymore but it is not comfortable to sit down or lay in bed. I am running on no sleep for 22 hours and Jimmy can tell that I am getting worn down. I am handling the pressure waves just fine, the hypnosis does work.
 I could not believe the words that are about to come out of my mouth. . .

“I need to an epidural. . .”

To be continued


Monday, June 20, 2011

Fischer's birth story - Part 1

Fischer’s birth story actually starts back a few months when I decided I wanted to use Hypnosis for his birth. After researching Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies (HB), we went with HB. HB teaches you that your due date is just a “guess date”, babies are born on their birthdays, and there is a hypnosis track called “Visualize Your Birth”. From all the birth stories I read the women said they would visualize the day they wanted labor to begin and their labor started at that time. I remember being 6 months pregnant telling my Mom that when I visualize his birth I see June 11, 2011 as his birthday. Fischer’s birth story starts here . . .

It was just like any other night out with Jimmy on Thursday, June 9; dinner, errands and cuddle time on the sofa. Before we went to bed he said to me “I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow so let’s get this kid out”. He got his wish cause at 4:30 am Friday morning I went to the bathroom for my 100,057,403 potty break that night when as soon as I sat on the toilet I felt a gush! I thought, “wow I really had to pee” but then I began peeing for real. So what was that fluid a second ago? Amniotic fluid? I started thinking that my water had just broken; I cleaned myself up and put a pad in. I knew it had broken when I started walking around and it just kept coming out. Looking back now I should have known at this moment that the birth I had visualized just went out the window except one thing . . . his birthday.

I waited around until 5:00 am to wake Jimmy up. I think I was in a little bit of denial for that half hour. Poor guy, he just came to bed at 1:30, just like every other night. I go into wake him up by saying:

“Honey, I think my water just broke”

He replies “Okaaayyy”  and rolls over to go back to sleep.

“No, my water broke. We are having a baby”

“Okay, what do you want me to do?”

About 30 seconds later it hit him. We both knew that since my pressure waves hadn’t started that this was going to be a long day. We took our time heading to the hospital. I took a shower and got dressed and ate breakfast since I knew I wouldn’t be getting much once I got the hospital. We made a video of the house so we have evidence of what it looked like before kids and how quiet it is at 5:00 am.
At 6:30 am we head out the door to Labor and Delivery. It’s a good think I wasn’t in active labor because he missed the exit to the hospital and had to take a different route that was under construction. It would not have been an easy ride for sure. We are admitted at 7:10 am and they get me situated in the bed so they can monitor him and test my pad for amniotic fluid. The nurse barely touched it with the test strip and it turned bright blue. We are having our baby, finally! The nurses call my midwife to let her know that I am admitted and we won’t be making our 10:40 appointment. My midwife comes into see me and check my progress; I am only 2 cm, 60% effaced. Time to start walking the halls, sucking on my Dum Dums and nipple stimulation. We need to get this thing moving. There is a pressure point on the roof of your mouth that can help jump start labor, hence the Dum Dums.

At this point I am getting waves but they do not feel effective. They are coming every 3-5 minutes but feel more like Braxton Hicks and not true waves. I go on like this until we reach the 12-hour mark. My midwife suggests Pit to jump start things. This is exactly the thing I was trying to avoid. In my head I know Pit means a snowball of interventions can start. She reassures me that she won’t let that happen. She knows I want a natural birth but this is what happens when your water breaks first. Fischer has been doing beautifully; his heart rate is calm and perfect. I couldn’t help but start crying because just like with trying to conceive things are not going according to our plan. Jimmy tells me:

“You are doing great! If this is what we need to meet Fischer then you can do it. I know this wasn’t in the plans but you can get through this.”

He really stepped up and was being am amazing coach. It is now 4:45 pm and my midwife decides to check me before starting the Pit. I am still 2 cm dilated. Here comes the IV. . .

To be continued...


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

40 weeks!

Since the little one is napping and I am eating breakfast, I thought it only fitting I post on Fischer's due date. Today I would have been 40 weeks pregnant. I am in the middle of writing my birth story and will post it soon. I will tell you that it was long since my water broke before labor started and it just dragged on and on. I spent 4 hours pushing which should have only taken a few pushes according to my midwife but we did not know his head was coming out sideways. Ouch, but I did it not natural but vaginal and that is all I could ask for. It was his birth and it was still beautiful. I don't regret one second of how is birthday happened.

We are all doing really well. My recovery is happening very quickly, yesterday all the swelling was gone and I felt a ton better. Fischer took to breast-feeding wonderfully after the first day. My milk came in on Day 2 and he is eating it up. He sleeps about 2 to 3 1/2 hours at night with little fuss to go back down. As soon as his Daddy swaddles him he is back out. We are loving every single nano second of being parents. Our journey to our baby has ended and now we begin a journey with our baby.

Best Moment of the week: Duh, meeting my son for the first time, okay and the final push. The moment she laid him on my chest I was in love. He didn't even cry just gave a little whimper.

Epiphany of the week: I always knew this to be true, but my husband is the best. He will be the best father to Fischer. He loves swaddling him himself and laying with him chest to chest. 

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My midwife checks me because I told her I felt I was ready to start pushing. Sure enough she checks and his head is right there, about an inch for crowning. She keeps telling me throughout pushing that he is almost here just a few more pushes and finally I said, "you said that 3 hours ago!". They all just laughed and kept on encouraging me.

Obsessions: Kissing ever inch of his perfect little body.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Spending our days together as one little happy family.
What I miss the most: Nothing.

Symptoms: The swelling from my feet and legs has almost completely gone away. Of course my nipples are tender but not too bad, at least they aren't cracked and bleeding.

Milestones: I think this one is obvious - becoming a MOMMY!

Early labor phase - sucking on a Dum Dum pacing the halls

Where's the milk, Mom?

I think this is the most beautiful face I have ever seen!

Our view from the recovery room, sometimes I really love Florida


Monday, June 13, 2011

Our son has arrived

Fischer James Pollard arrived Saturday, June 11, 2011 after 34 hours of labor!

8 lbs 6 oz. And 21 inches long

It was long, hard, exhausting and hands down the most amazing thing I have experienced.

We are being discharged today and will post a ton of pics as soon as I can. Mom and baby are doing amazing.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

39 Weeks!

Two big milestones happening this week: I am a week from my due date and today is my last day of work!!! I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have 3 months off, not having to wake up early to leave the house (I know I will be waking up for other reasons but those reasons make me smile), packing my lunch the night before and wondering if I have any clean work pants.

My doctors appointment this week isn't until Friday, two whole days. ugh!I am still thinking my guess date is Saturday, June 11th. I have felt this date would be his birthday for months for some reason. I am interested to see if mother's intuition kicked in early.Truthfully he can come any day now, the anticipation is killing me. I feel like I did 10 months ago thinking I will never be pregnant, I will never be a mother. I am starting to think I am going to be pregnant forever and there is no baby at the end. It was all a big joke. Rationally I know that is not true, he can't stay in there forever, but since when has hormones let us be rational.

He is still the size of a watermelon this week. I feel like I am carrying around a watermelon too!
Best Moment of the week: I'm gonna say that it will be tomorrow when I know I am officially on maternity leave!

Epiphany of the week: Don't sit on a leather sofa with shorts on because you will stick to the leather and then not be able to get off the sofa. I couldn't get enough momentum to thrust forward to un-stick myself, too front heavy!

Entertaining question/comment of the week: This one has to come from The Captain. In Hypnobabies you change terminology to have a positive mindset, contractions are called pressure waves. I had told him this but I didn't think he was really listening or reading his birth partner study guide, boy did he prove me wrong. Last night he had to run to Wal-mart and said "call me if you start having pressure waves while I am out". I just stood there shocked that he obviously has been doing his studying.

Obsessions: When am I gonna get to meet this little guy?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Sleeping in until the baby arrives.
What I miss the most: Nothing.

Symptoms: I can't wait for the swelling to go away. I have about reached my patience level with these cankles!The swelling has moved up my legs to my knees.

Milestones: Baby's now the size of a watermelon!
Baby's brain is still developing rapidly, and his skin has taken on a paler shade thanks to a thicker layer of fat around the blood vessels. (Don't worry; he'll change color again soon after birth.) He's now able to flex his limbs, and his nails might extend past his fingertips. *Courtesy of


Friday, June 3, 2011

slowly but surely...

Slowly but surely I am going to have this baby. Just got back from our 38 week appointment and I am still 1 cm dilated but am now 50% effaced and my cervix is soft. The baby has made his way down to -2 station. The midwife said that last week they had an arrow up for the baby's station which meant that his head was still high. No wonder I have felt more pressure on everything this last week, it is only going to get worse. 

Everyone keeps telling me that when they do a cervical check that it is painful. I enter into hypnosis right before each check and I gotta say I don't feel anything while she is checking me. My midwife says "I know lots of pressure right now" and I just smile cause I don't feel it. Maybe it is the hypnosis, I think it actually does work. 

I am okay with making it to my due date but I don't want to go much further past it cause my sister comes into town on the 25th and I would like to already be home when she gets here. I know, I know it is not up to me but I hope your listening Baby P...


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

38 weeks!

OMG I'm having a baby!

A baby.

A tiny human being.

That I am responsible for. 


In two weeks (plus or minus) he will be here and I can't freakin' believe it. It's really starting to hit me that I am having a baby. I know that I am pregnant and at the end it produces a baby but I think it finally hit me that there is actually going to be a living, breathing, totally dependent baby. We have been in this countdown/waiting state for over 3 years now of "when we have a baby". Being pregnant has just been more dreaming, imagining, and planning on a baby. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else but to me, I guess, I never really sat and thought about the fact that he is no longer a dream or a figment of my imagination. He's real and he is almost here. We are getting so stinkin' excited to meet him, I don't care how hard labor is going to be or how long. I know that with each pressure wave I am one step closer to meeting my son and that puts a smile on my face. Finally!

Last night The Captain was tyring so hard to convince him how nice it is outside of the womb and that we want to play with him and meet him. I think he had his hands over his ears cause it sure didn't make a difference. The Captain has really started to get more comfortable taking to my belly and playing with him, it's too bad it's near the end.

I'm having a baby. Oh my Gawd!

Best Moment of the week: Floating in the pool all day on Monday, it felt so good.

Epiphany of the week: I need to take a tour of the hospital or at least find out what door we have to go in.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My cousin's prediction date is June 4 so she calls and leaves me a voice mail. "Tonight you will go for a long walk and have sex. Tomorrow morning you are to have sex. Tomorrow night repeat long walk and again have sex. You will repeat this until June 3rd cause you have 3 days to get that baby out of you so my prediction can be right!"

Obsessions: What does he look like? When am I going to get to meet him?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Friday's appointment. 
What I miss the most: Nothing really.

Symptoms: I can't wait for the swelling to go away. I have about reached my patience level with these cankles!

Milestones: Baby's now the size of a watermelon!
The last bits of vernix caseosa (the white goo keeping baby's skin moist) and lanugo (downy hair) are slowly shedding into your amniotic fluid. Baby's head is about the same circumference as his abdomen, and his head could be covered in an inch or so of hair. *Courtesy of


Thursday, May 26, 2011

How I plan on using Hypnobabies for childbirth

I first want to apologize, I had every intention of doing a recap after every week of my Hypnobabies course. Things got so busy it just never happened. I have loved listening to the CD's every night and practicing the techniques I will be using on my birthing day. I feel so calm and confident about giving birth. The main thing Hypnobabies does is train your subconscious to think in a different, positive way. After listening to the Fear Clearing Session the other night I am even more ready.

Here are some possibilities on how I plan on using Hypnobabies during my birthing time. I also put together a little cheat sheet The Captain can refer to throughout our birthing time.

Once I start feeling regular pressure waves (contractions) I will know that my birthing time has begun or could be coming really soon. I will get something to eat and drink if it is daytime or I will go to sleep if it is night time. If things fizzle out I may do some chores to keep me busy, like bake brownies for the nurses at the hospital. Try and win them over with sweets.

While I am doing things or resting in bed I will put on the "Birthing Day Affirmations" track aloud or with headphones, if The Captain is sleeping. This track is meant to help me stay positive and get in the right mindset. I am not supposed to listen to this track until after 38 weeks, it has very suggestive language and can send me into labor early.

If things are indeed progressing then I can put on the "Fear Clearing" track I mentioned above. It is meant to help address and release any fears or concerns that are still lingering about. HypnoBabies suggests listening to this track early to quell any anxiety or issues that might slow your labor. We are planning on laboring as long as we can at home before heading to the hospital, since that is where I will be the most comfortable. I do plan on laboring in the tub, but not delivering, at the hospital but you can't get into the tub until you are 5 cm.

One of my favorite tracks is titled "Relax Me" and that is exactly what it does. I may listen to this while The Captain is packing the car. I can cycle through any of the CD tracks that I feel comfortable with as my pressure waves get stronger and closer together. Once I need to begin to consciously relax through them I will then turn to using my finger-drop technique using cue words like "release" and "peace" and moving my mental light switch to the off position.

Hypnobabies teaches you to imagine a light switch on the back of your neck. When it is in the off position it creates a conditioned response that allows me to instantly enter a deep state of hypnosis and relaxation. Sensations of pain are reduced or eliminated. If I want to open my eyes and move around I turn the switch to the center position and I can now move freely.

I will visualize and tell my body to open, open, open and that I welcome each pressure wave, which brings me closer to meeting my son.

At this point I may not know what I need, whether it be music, quiet or a specific track. I may want The Captain to read me a script. It's hard to say, we will have to just roll with it.

I have a "Pushing Baby Out" track that should be listened to aloud once it comes time to push. I will preview it so I know what is on it before the big day.

Just like athletes mentally prepare for any big game or competition, childbirth is no different. It is as much mental work as it is physical. I'm going to pull a cheesy quote out for you "What the mind can believe, the body can achieve"

I can't wait to meet my son! Only a few weeks left to go!


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

37 Weeks!

The cramping I have been feeling was me dilating to 1 cm! My cervix is still long so no effacement yet but I would say that is pretty good progress for 5 days. When we went on Friday last week my cervix was still posterior, closed, hard, and long. Things are happening. I know I can stay this way for awhile but I am 1 cm closer to meeting our little boy.

Because of the Captain's work schedule our next appointment isn't until next Friday, I wonder if we will make it to that appointment. We have several votes for June 2nd. Care to take any guesses?

Best Moment of the week: Besides today's appointment, it was baby sitting on Sunday and watching The Captain play with his God-Daughter for hours.

Epiphany of the week: I need to take a tour of the hospital or at least find out what door we have to go to.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I am in the kitchen making lunch for me and Zoey and I hear The Captain talking to her in the living room, he's saying "Mommy's getting your lunch ready". I peak my head around the corner and say "um hun, I'm not her Mommy". He says "oh duh, I guess I can't wait to say that". Ah melt!

Obsessions: Am I dilating today? Have I effaced any? Maybe I should try evening primrose oil or how about bouncing on the birthing ball?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Friday's appointment. 
What I miss the most: Not really anything except that my belly didn't use to rest on my legs when I sit down. :)

Symptoms: Edema, back ache, sore joints, urinating more frequently and the skin under my breasts feels like it has been rubbed raw. I think it is from him keeping a foot there.

Milestones: Baby's now the size of a watermelon!
Your full-term (yay!) baby is gaining about 1/2 ounce a day and getting his first sticky poop (called meconium) ready. He's also brushing up on skills for the outside world: blinking, sucking, inhaling, exhaling, and gripping (it's getting strong!) *Courtesy of


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