A year in review

Happy New Year everyone! While the first 3/4 of this year were incredibly hard and disappointing the last 1/4 has been a dream almost. I am still in awe every time I see my belly and remember "oh yeah I'm pregnant".  I still feel like it is happening to someone else and I am watching from the sidelines. I'm sure once I get kicked in the ribs that will all change. This baby is such a miracle and a blessing, I can't wait for 2011 to begin since we will be meeting our son!


2010 in review:
January - Made the consultation appointment with an RE finally after almost 2 years of TTC with no results on our own.
February - Have an HSG done to see if that is the problem, nope tubes are clear. IUI #1 on Valentines Day.
March - BFN, have an SHG done with perfect results. IUI #2. Another BFN.
April - IUI #3, best sperm count so far. BFN again. Schedule a WTF appointment
May - IUI #4, last chance before considering IVF. BFN again. 
June - Decide it is time to stop wasting our money and our time and move onto IVF.
July - Begin the IVF process of last remaining tests to be done, pay the deposit and be put on the waiting list for August. 
August - IVF paid in full and waiting on AF to show to begin the Lupron protocol.
September - Hell month of shots, shots and more shots. Retrieved 18 eggs and 2 of the embryos were transfered back.
October - Saw two lines on the first of many pregnancy tests, seriously thought I was dreaming. Several beta draws later confirm that we are indeed pregnant. IVF was our miracle that we had been waiting for. The end of October we had our first ultrasound done and saw one little heart beating away.
November - No morning sickness as the last of the first trimester fades away. Hello second trimester.
December - What better way to end 2010 than finding out we are having a SON!


I pray that next year brings fulfillment and happiness to all of you! Happy New Year. See you in 2011.

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16 weeks!

This week the baby, whom shall now be known as “Lil Captain”, is the size of a large avocado and I can sure tell he has grown a lot this week. I have been having growing pains pretty bad the last week. My wonderful, amazing friend, Jenni, gave me a little shirt that says Captain on it yesterday. Now he can be just like his Daddy. By the way, The Captain absolutely loved it and picked up on it right away. Thank you so much! Check out Jenni’s website, she is the most talented graphic designer and invitation designer out there.

 

The Captain is the sweetest husband ever! He told me last night that he bought me something after doing some internet searches and it should be arriving in the mail any day now. After some poking and prodding I got it out of him.

A pregnancy pillow! I really wanted one for Christmas but I didn’t get it and he said when he came home the other night and came to give me a kiss in bed I had all the pillows around me and between my knees. I didn’t realize I had been doing that while sleeping but I have been getting uncomfortable at night since I can’t sleep on my back or tummy. I can’t wait until it gets here. I am going to sew a different cover though because the reviews said it wasn’t a high enough thread count.

Best Moment of the week: Most definitely, finding out we are having a son. I always said I didn’t want to find out the sex that I wanted it to be a surprise but actually finding out with our families there was way beyond what I expected. Such a treasured memory that I don’t think any of us will ever forget. I just wish my Dad could have been there.

Epiphany of the week: DO NOT step on the scale if you are not prepared for what you will see. Weight gain: I plead the fifth and blame it all on the holidays. I’ll just say I gained more in the last week than I have all pregnancy, yikes!

Entertaining question/comment of the week: Said by me “I have a penis inside me 24/7”.

Obsessions:  The nursery design and registering. I am not sure when you are supposed to start a registry but I should probably go ahead and drag The Captain to BRU because I don’t think he has ever stepped foot in there. It might take a few trips to get it finalized, I have a feeling he will be very overwhelmed.

What I am most looking forward to this week: I want so badly to feel the baby move but I am worried that with having the anterior placenta it won’t be for a while.

What I miss the most: Wearing belts!

Symptoms: Besides some growing pains, nada!

Milestones:  Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: Eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. *Courtesy of TheBump.com

This is not technically a 16 week belly shot since it was taken Christmas Day but I am not that much bigger since then. (poor quality cell phone shot)

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Crib bedding?

Ok ladies I need some more help. I knew this would happen, I would find out the sex and start designing the nursery right away. I have been putting together collages of things I like for awhile now for a modern, eclectic nursery but the crib bedding is bugging me. I am going with a custom crib set made from someone at Etsy. There are several different shops I am looking at. I do not like any of the sets from Target, BRU or any other on-line shop. I do not want a theme, for that I am sure. Just cool, modern things with a childish feel. There are 4 different ones I am looking at, weigh in on them in the comments section below. 

Things you should know: 

- The crib and dresser will be white

- I have a small fish tank The Captain got me for Christmas that has orange on it. 

- I am slightly leaning toward #2 (maybe just not using the scooter fabric).

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It's a. . .

BOY!!

I don't know why but deep down I have known all along it was a boy. He was so cute today, totally showing off for everyone. The Captain, my Mom, his parents and sister were all there to see him. She turned the 3D on just to see what it would look like and he started smiling and laughing. I will scan the pictures and post them as soon as I get home. Duh I have the CD with me.

I highly recommend this place if anyone is in the area, it is called Look Who's Kickin'. It was the best ultrasound experience I have had yet. They accommodate up to 6 guests in the room and you watch the ultrasound on a huge plasma screen TV. They recorded a DVD of the whole thing for us set to music, I will cherish that forever! Our parents got such a kick out of watching him suck his fingers and kick me. She said my placenta is up front so it will be a little bit before I really start feeling him move. I will be watching the DVD again tonight I am sure.

It is so surreal to call him a him now instead of it. I don't think this grin is going to go away anytime soon!

Mouth wide open

Smiley baby

His Daddy's big feet

yep, it's a boy!

He is giving us a thumbs up!

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Sex day

In less than 20 hours we find out the sex of our baby! We go to the ultrasound place tomorrow at 11:00 am. I just pray that the baby is in the right position and it's legs aren't crossed!

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Merry CHRISTmas!

Merry Christmas!


Good Morning! It is 5:50 on Christmas morning and I am wide awake. I don't know if the insomnia is back or I am just excited about Christmas but we didn't go to bed until 1:00 am and I can't go back to sleep. 


I keep thinking about the sermon for Christmas Eve service last night and I must share what I took from it with you. It spoke to me very loudly last night. It was mostly about joy and that those who have lived in darkness have seen a great light.


"Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring to you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:9-11


Good tidings of joy. . . Joy should and can be in our hearts this Christmas; despite the pain, the suffering, the emptiness, and the loneliness that plagues us all around this time each year. Yes, this year is different for me, I am happy. But happiness is just happenstance it is not joy. Rejoice in that God sent us a savior because we, I, need to be saved! Saved from the wanting, and the jealousy, and the sinning. I feel guilty that I  did not stop and fully appreciate the meaning of Christmas the last few years and why? Because I thought I could only find joy if I celebrated Christmas by getting a BFP or rubbing my pregnant belly? Jealousy and despair consumed me so much that I forgot to rejoice in the fact that there is a great light shining down on me. I would know good tidings of joy because God gave his only begotten Son to save me and that he did. 


It is my Christmas wish that you find joy this holy-day season for God will answer your prayers. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I love you all.

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15 weeks!

Is Christmas really in 3 days? It seems so hard to believe another year has gone by. This is the first Christmas in several years I am actually happy about. The last 3 Christmas' have been so miserable from being infertile to my parents divorce, I am looking forward to this one. Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!

Best Moment of the week: Receiving Christmas presents in the mail addressed to “little Pollard” from our friends who have been waiting as long as we have for us to have a child.

Epiphany of the week: When you eat asparagus it makes your pee smell and not in a good way.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: This one is from The Captain “please warn me next time you have gas”. *blush*

Obsessions:  The nursery! I can’t wait to find out the sex to finalize the nursery. It will be pretty much gender neutral anyway but there are a few touches that need to be finalized. I promise a post about the nursery will be coming. I am starting to collect gifts from friends already and have nowhere to put anything, it is getting me excited.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Christmas with family and giving our Mom’s their Christmas present from the baby. I went to Build-a-Bear and put the recording of the baby’s heartbeat into each bear.

What I miss the most: It seems every week what I miss the most is food. I really missed having goat cheese this week and why is it always cheese I miss the most? Trust me I miss nothing physically about not being pregnant, I love being pregnant! But the cheese. . .

Symptoms: oh the gas! I have also noticed this week that my gums are more tender and bleed when I floss each night, thanks hormones.

Milestones:  Continuing the march toward normal proportions, baby's legs now out-measure his arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably can't feel the movements just yet.

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"It's a Wonderful Life"

That is my all time favorite Christmas movie. Every year it is tradition for me and my parents to go to the historic Tampa Theater and watch the movie. For the past two years it has just been me and my Mom since she can't stand to be around my Dad. Which makes me feel guilty because it is his favorite Christmas movie too. Anyway we went yesterday to see the movie and I brought along my best friend, she absolutely LOVED it. She had never been to that theater or seen the movie. Which is a sin in itself. 

After the movie we went back to my Mom's apartment and had white chicken chili that had been cooking in the crockpot all day. It was so yummy! I cannot wait until next year when I bring peanut along and start the tradition all over again with a new recruit.

I just love Zuzu! She is the most adorable little girl. "Look Daddy, teacher says every time a bell rings an Angel gets his wings"

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14 weeks!

How in the world have I made it to 14 weeks already? I swear that just yesterday I was going in for our embryo transfer. Time sure is flying by. The baby is the size of a lemon this week and growing like crazy. Our adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine, and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys, and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over her/his body for warmth.

 We did go ahead and call the Ultrasound place and we have an appointment December 27^th. I will be so close to 16 weeks that it should be pretty accurate. We decided that either way we get to see the baby one extra time that is always a plus. If we go and it’s like “Hey, look at my penis” then we will tell people the gender. If it is questionable then we will wait until the 20 week scan. We decided to invite our parents to the ultrasound as part of their Christmas gift too, to see the baby instead of just by pictures.

Best Moment of the week: Getting a FREE pre-natal massage this week. It was heaven. I died. The massage school by my house wer offering them.

Epiphany of the week: I have to pee all the time now so know where all the restrooms are on any outings at all times.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: We receive a big tin of butter cookies at work for a Christmas present. Score! So I happened to grab a few and got made fun of then another co-worker grabbed some and they all said "well, it's expected" and I said "yeah well I'm expecting".

Obsessions:  Still obsessing over my little baby bump. I can now start to feel what is hard (uterus) and what is still soft (bloat). My uterus is definitely getting bigger by the day.

What I am most looking forward to this week: I am looking forward to finishing off the tin of cookies.

What I miss the most: I really, really miss feta cheese this week. We went to Bonefish last night and my favorite appetizer is Saucy Shrimp and I didn't get it because I would have been too tempted to eat the feta.

Symptoms: Headaches! I have gotten an aching headache every evening for the past week. My midwife said for some reason they are very common between 13 and 15 weeks so here's to hoping they are gone next week.

Milestones:  I did end up making it through the whole night last night without getting up to go pee. That's a huge milestone for me. I hope it lasts.

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Cloth Diapering

Me: "I plan on cloth diapering our baby"


Friend or family member: "oh, really? How do you pin the diapers? That's gross" etc, etc, etc...


After all the technological, scientific and health advances over the last 30 years why do people still think cloth diapering means prefold diapers with safety pins? They really think that industry has stood still with no advancement whatsoever. I am getting really aggravated by peoples remarks when I tell them we are going to cloth diaper. The only person supportive is my good friend who is now cloth diapering her baby girl and absolutely loves it. I think my Mom is coming around after we babysat the other night and after she changed the diaper she told me they were really neat and so easy.


The Captain and I decided we would cloth diaper for many reasons, economic, environmental and just better all around for our baby's bottom. I think I am going to need to start arming myself with arguments for peoples comments. Any advice?

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Ultrasound places

I can not stop thinking about having to wait another 8 weeks or so before we find out the sex of the baby or see the baby again. I have been doing some research about local ultrasound places and there is one 5 minutes from my office that offers a gender determination ultrasound for $89. I would love, love, love to find out before Christmas to tell our parents. What do you guys think? Would you do that or did you do something similar? I think $89 is totally worth it, they also have these huge rooms with sofas to accommodate 6 people to watch the ultrasound, should have our parents go the appointment with us to all find out together. That would make a pretty cool Christmas present, huh?

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13 weeks!

Hello second trimester, nice to meet you! Only 189 days to go until we meet our baby. That does not seem like a lot of time left to get things done. I thought I would wait until after the holidays before I really started doing anything but now I am not so sure that is a good idea.

Baby is now the size of a peach! Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords...savor this, their nonfunctional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with his head now only one third the size of his body. And intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy -- much more convenient.

Best Moment of the week: Making it to the second trimester and realizing there are less than 200 days left to go.

Epiphany of the week: Do not stand up too quickly or you will get a sharp pain in the side. This is all from the round ligament pains. I have been feeling a lot of growing pains the last week.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: The Captain thinks it's entertaining to remind me how many cookies I eat in one sitting :) but hey I haven't gained any weight so I think I am allowed to have a few.

Obsessions:  I can't stop looking at our last ultrasound picture, it is just too sweet.

What I am most looking forward to this week: My check-up on Friday. I can't wait to finally hear the heartbeat on the doppler. I am going to record it since The Captain has to miss this appointment, he has been so awesome about making every single appointment.

What I miss the most: Nothing this week, I am happy to be sober and wearing pants with elastic waists.

Symptoms: Round ligament pains, yikes! and of course going to the bathroom constantly.

Milestones:The baby is forming teeth and vocal cords. The better to bite your nipples and scream in the middle of the night with, my dear.

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Christmas Card 2010

Here's the Christmas card we will be sending out this year. We took the pictures this morning. I think it turned out great.

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NT scan today

We had the best appointment today! We saw the baby for nearly a half hour this morning during the NT scan. It was quite a little jumping bean every time the Sonographer would press down with the wand. The baby would waves its hands and feet as if to say Hi Mom, Hi Dad! We got some really great profile shots where you can see the most perfect plump lips and little button nose.

Stats

Length: 63 mm (2 1/2 inches) long

Measuring: 12 weeks 5 days

Heart Rate: 159 BPM

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12 weeks!

We made it to 12 weeks already, I can't believe it. At the end of this week we will be in the second trimester! Maybe, just maybe, some of the worries will start to cease. Our little peanut is now the size of a plum. Can I still call it a peanut then? The peanut is shifting into the growth and maturation stage after being in the critical development stage for weeks. Almost all of it's systems are fully formed now. 

Best Moment of the week: Buying maternity jeans! I went the the outlet mall with some girlfriends over the weekend and they had a Motherhood Maternity store. I got one pair of skinny jeans and one regular boot cut pair. I can't wait to start wearing them on a regular basis.

Epiphany of the week: Popcorn with Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top is a really delicious snack! Try it, I am begging you. Try it.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: I was looking up the meaning of our last name, Pollard, and it turns out one of the meanings is "remarkable head", aka large head, aka holy crap, aka this is going to hurt. By the way the Captain does have a rather large head. Please, baby take after me.

Obsessions: Not really a pregnancy obsession but I love Christmas time so this week is spent obsessing over decorating the house for Christmas and taking our Christmas picture for our Christmas cards.

What I am most looking forward to this week: Our NT scan tomorrow morning. We will get to see the peanut for an extended period of time tomorrow morning. I hope we get to hear the heartbeat again too.

What I miss the most: I don't miss, waiting for my period, buying tampons, being disappointed every single day, needles, medications and being told to just relax.

Symptoms: I think I am starting to feel round ligament pain. I keep getting sharp pains in my pelvic area if I do a lot of an activity or move a certain way. My bump hasn't really gotten any bigger than last week except that it is there 24/7 now, not just in the evening.

Milestones: Making it to 12 weeks, duh! Moving into the second trimester.

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A Thankful Day

Happy Thanksgiving! 


I hope everyone eats their weight in turkey, green bean casserole, stuffing and mashed potatoes today. I know I am going to. We have a lot to be thankful for this year but I am most thankful to Dr. Robert Edwards who devised the fertility treatment, IVF. Without him I am sure I would not be pregnant right now and my husband and I would still be longing for a baby. I pray everyday that those still waiting for their miracle receive it soon.


I am thankful for my husband, our dogs and of course the little peanut growing inside me. This is our first holiday as a little family and couldn't be happier. 


I am thankful for all of you. Without your support and encouraging words I would be lost. Most days I did not even want to get out of bed in the morning but then I would see a comment from one of you and I knew things would be better. Your friendships mean the world to me and I cherish each and every one of them. Thank you.


Oh yeah and one more thing. . .I am most thankful that I am not a turkey :)

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11 weeks!

I decided I need to start organizing my updates a little better since I am coming out of my pregnancy brain induced fog. I am thinking a lot clearer these days. No more milk in the pantry instead of the fridge fiascoes. I am taking a cue from some other ladies about how to organize my weekly update feelings/thoughts. 

11 weeks! Holy freaking cow! I can't believe we are here already. It is going by way too fast and not fast enough at the same time. Our little peanut is now the size of a lime. He also no longer has webbed hands and feet! Our little peanut should be able to open and close his fists and is moving around quite a bit in his roomy womb; even though I won't get to feel him for quite some time.

Best moment of the week: Honestly it's being able to come off of the progesterone. No more meds! And no more shoving things up my lady chute every morning. Hallelujah!

Epiphany of the week: "I'm pregnant so let me have the last bowl of ice cream" ok not really an epiphany but I really wanted the ice cream.

Entertaining question/comment of the week: My hard drive went kaput yesterday at work and my boss's wife was trying to be helpful (insert sarcasm) and she says to me "Maybe it just doesn't like pregnant women" huh?

Obsessions?: Belly photos and wondering if I am just really bloated all the time or if this is the beginning of a baby bump?

What I am most looking forward to this week: Thanksgiving! I get to eat, eat and eat some more and no one can say anything because they are all doing the same thing.

What I miss the most: I have to say that so far I really miss red wine. There is something about getting together with your girlfriends drinking wine and chatting. I used to love having a glass of wine and take a hot bath while reading a good book at the same time.

Symptoms: Still nothing too drastic; the bloating, peeing more often and the sleepiness. But I think the tiredness is easing up because I actually stayed awake past 10:00 all week. Go me!

Milestones: Baby is now the proud new owner of non-webbed fingers and toes. Yay for not being a fish with a tail anymore! And now his little legs are kicking like mad to match his movable arms. Of course, I won't be able to feel this for some time but it's pretty sweet to think the baby is mobile now.

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D.C. fun!

I took over 200 photos so it was hard to narrow it down to which ones I should post. I hope you enjoy our nations Capital...

That's me and my best friend on the tour bus

Freedom Plaza, the bricks are laid out like Washington, D.C.

The White House

Ford's Theater

We had some important papers to sign in the Oval office

Beginning of the motorcade before Vice President Biden came out

The Vice President's limo

The White House

Washington Monument

Lincoln Memorial

Washington Monument and The Capital

Giant bronze statue of Albert Einstein

My beautiful sister, Amanda

The Capital Dome

The Capital

The Capital

Washington Monument

Lincoln Memorial

The view from my sister's apartment, she is very lucky!

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