Migraine sufferer

One thing I don't reveal about my self very often is that I am a chronic Ophthalmic Migraine. 

This visual aura can be very dramatic. Classically, a small blind spot appears in the central vision with a shimmering, zig-zag light inside of it. This enlarges, and moves to one side or the other of the vision, over a 20 to 30 minute period. When it is large, this crescent shaped blind spot containing this brightly flashing light can be difficult to ignore.

In fact I am getting one right now so forgive my typing I can only see about 50% right now. Here is what my vision looks like right before I get a headache. It starts out as a pin prick blind spot and I have to rub my eyes to see if my mind is playing tricks on me or not. Then in about 10 minutes it covers half of my vision, by the time it moves out of sight, WHAM, migraine headache. Have you ever had a camera flash go off in your face and you can't see for a minute? That is what it is like for about 30 minutes!!!

I have been getting migraines since I was in kindergarten. Imagine how scary it is for a 5 year old to loose half her vision for 30 mintues and then get a pain so severe in her head that she begins puking from the pain. I can not take anything once I get the Aura it comes way too fast for anything to take effect and most migraine medicines give me really bad side effects. I was on a preventative for years and maybe got 1 every 4 months or so. Lovely! Well when I went back to my neurologist he asked if I was planning on having kids, this is how our conversation went:

Doc: Are you and your husband planning on starting a family?

Me: Yes, in fact we have been trying to coceive for sometime without success.

Doc: Oh, any of the medicines needed to take for prevention have not been proven safe for expectant mothers.

Me: What!? I can't go without this.

Doc: It isn't known to cause harm we just aren't certain that it won't. Try to go without taking the prescription and if you can't live without it then start taking it again.

Yeah right like I am going to take a prescription that I am not sure is safe for yet coceived child. If I miscarry OMG the guilt I will feel. So the conclusion to my story is I have been off the medicine for about 6 months with only a few migraines to show for it. I can do this I am cured. WROOOONNNNGGGG! I guess I still had a trace of the Elavil left in my system because I have had 4 migraines in the past 10 days. That's right almost every other day I have gotten one. So what should I do? I am seriously considering filling that prescription. What would you do? I am sorry that this is so long but I had to explain it right. Help!

Pained and confused.