Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Possibly worse than "Just relax"

Nothing infuriates me more than a fertile person telling an infertile person to "just relax" and you will get pregnant. Because relaxing cures male factor infertility, didn't you know? Well being pregnant has brought on a new "just relax". I knew it was probably bound to happen but not this soon. I mean I will be 6 weeks tomorrow, I have only known I am pregnant for 2 weeks. Here is the story:

Sunday afternoon after the Bucs game I started to get a really nagging headache. It started out small and then the throbbing just got out of control and it was making me nauseous. Most headaches do because of the pain. The Captain said he would go to the store and get Tylenol if I thought I needed to take it. I was hesitant to take anything this early but pretty soon I knew I wouldn't be able to eat dinner if I didn't dull the pain. So off to the store he went. He brought back Aspirin. He said he thought I said Aspirin. First of all Tylenol and Aspirin don't even sound remotely alike and second of all who asks for Aspirin anymore? Anyway my Dad was there for dinner and was basically hounding me to just take the Aspirin. I knew that this was not a safe drug to take pregnant and kept telling him that it isn't on my safe drug list from my doctor! I said fine I will go on safefetus.com and look it up. Sure enough it is a Class D drug, not safe for pregnant women. While I am in the office I hear him talking to The Captain saying "I don't know what she is so worried about what do you think my parents did or their parents did, all they had to take was Aspirin and we are all fine". Ugh that makes me so mad. Did your parents or grandparents go through 30 months of infertility and pay tens of thousands of dollars to get pregnant?  I am not going to do anything to risk this pregnancy, it may have been fine for your parents but it isn't for me, why can't people just respect that. 

I just needed to vent about that. I thought it was a very rude thing to say after everything we have been through to get even this far.

6 lovely notes from friends:

kayee October 19, 2010 at 4:06 PM  

How frustrating. I don't think, even when we all end up with successful pregnancies, we will ever be able to let go of what we did to get where we are. The unfortunate fact is that no one will ever, ever understand unless they have gone through it. Being pregnant after struggling with IF is the ungettable-get. Good luck Erin!

Anonymous,  October 19, 2010 at 6:12 PM  

I understand how your feeling, when you have spent so much time, money and heartache to get to where you are you will do nothing to risk your pregnancy. I was the same with food and what I would and wouldn't eat and in the end I just said to people you may have eaten what you wanted when you were pregnant but I am choosing not to eat certain things so don't let my choices affect you and you carry on as you are and I will carry on as I am. People just don't understand what we have been through if they have not had to experiance it themselfs.

Congrats on the pregnancy and looking forward to the beautiful updates on your wonderful journey........

Katherine & Jesus October 19, 2010 at 8:51 PM  

I totally agree, no one will understand unless they cannot get pregnant. And yeah maybe our parents and greandparents took all kinds of things and smoke and drank. But hey its not smart and not safe for an unborn baby!Especially when its been so hard to get pregnant in the first place. You are right!

Jessica October 20, 2010 at 10:17 AM  

Sorry people are saying stupid shit to you...they just have no idea what IF is like.

Can't wait for the ultrasound!!

T October 20, 2010 at 12:04 PM  

Wow, that would have infuriated me too! If you have never been through IF, you just do not understand.
Yes, I am sure most things are just us being over-protective and the baby would be fine...but it is those what if's. God forbid something would happen to the baby shortly after I would never be able to forgive myself.

Life in the UK October 20, 2010 at 6:04 PM  

Oh girl... I feel you on this one. I get this same stupid remarks from family and friends. That is when you say, this is my body, our baby and we are not going to risk it. There is a reason it is on the non-safe list of drugs. It is a blood thinner and no good to take while pregnant. I totally understand... I am freaking out about tomorrow!! I am praying all is well and that we see an heartbeat. I think once I see the babies and they are healthy I will be able to calm down a bit... I will keep you up-dated :)

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